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kswat 
12:53pm, March 27, 2009
I have not been on here in several months...i feel like i have been on a rollercoaster from hell...just an update on my situation...case has gone to the appellate court on 9-21-09 infront of a judgement panel and as of 9-22-09 is awaiting decision...don't know how long that process will take but seems to be forever....since april my guy and i have drifted apart...i thought i was a strong person but came to find out i am not....i love him and always will but i have decided to move on with my life...i still believe he is innocent but the situation is what it is and i can no longer put my life and future on hold...i have always done what i thought everyone thought i should do, have always put everyone elses happiness and feelings before my own but i can't do that any longer....i feel like a failure because i did not have the strength to endure the situation...but i have to do what i feel is best for myself and my children....it hasn't been an easy decision to come to and there are times i feel guilty about moving on but for my own health and sanity i must....one of the reasons i havent been on is because i'm not sure if i should be here with my life such a mess i did not feel able to give any advice or the support i should until i could figure my own situation out....the other reason is my computer was down for several months....anyhow just wanted to give an update
Comments
Had my first visit in 5 long months with Dave on Valentines Day. It was a great Valentines gift. He didn't know I was coming so it was a big surprise for him. I was able to kiss, hug, touch and hold hands with him for the first time in 8 months. God how I have missed that. I was very shocked to see how much his appearance has changed. He has lost about 60 pounds which makes him look very unhealthy. I am very worried and concerned about that. It was a 3 hour drive down, and got lost along the way but was well worth it to get 2 hours of heaven with him. The 3 hours back home was hard. I hated having to leave him there. I was happy to see that the prison is clean and all of the people there, guards included, were extremely nice. As far as prisons go I think he is at a very good one. We were allowed contact the whole time and I never took my hands off of him only to go get him food then he had a hard time eating because I wouldn't stop holding on to him LOL Next visit I will take his son to see him but not sure how that will go because it will be a no contact visit and it will be very hard on them both to be able to see each other but not even be able to hug. I can't wait to see him again, wish it wasn't so far away.
Comments
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It's wonderful that you had such a special Valentine Day! You sound on top of the world. My son is the one in prison but I remember how great it was to hug him, hold his hand, the first time I saw him there. So happy for you! Time does pass - just take good care of yourself and your kids!
Love, Pam
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I am so glad your visit went well! What a special surprise for your sweetie....take care......Love, Barbara
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I'm so HAPPY for you. I too went and seen my sweetie for Valentines Day. I can't take my hands off him either. We do have to keep them above the table, which is hard. I always rested my hand on his leg. Can't do no more. I really understand the drive. It's 3 hrs for me down and 2 wonderful hrs of love, then 3 hrs of heartbreak driving back home. I find it to be the hardest thing ever to walk away and leave him there. I hope you can go see him often. I go and see my sweetie every month. Take care, and he will gain some weight back. He has been through hell, and when he settles in to what his life is now, he will put some weight back on. ((HUGS)) Cherri
It is almost the end of 2008. I have had good times and bad times, but one thing I have realized is that I am a strong person, we all are. God would not give us anything he felt we could not handle. Even though Dave is gone, for a very long time, my love for him is stronger than ever. I miss him more than words could ever describe. I have very many happy memories of us and I dream of all the good times we will have when this whole horrible ordeal is over. I don't really do new years resolutions but one thing I am going to do is promise to make 2009 a better year. I think alot of how things go is a state of mind. Yes I have been dealt a terrible blow but No I will not let it get the best of me. I know I will have good days and bad days but I will continue to love, support, and fight for Dave with everything I have. I pray for a change in the legal and prison systems, that our we and our loved ones can be treated for the loving people that we are and not looked at or treated as if we have some kind of plague. I pray that God will watch over, guide and protect us, our loved ones, and everyones families. Happy New Year!!!
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I'm with you on this one, Karen! Let's say a prayer for 2009 to be much better.....sure couldn't be any worse........Love, and best wishes for a Happy New Year, Love, Barbara
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With your wonderful attitude the days will fly by in no time. Where is your husband located? I would like to put him on our mailing list. Just message me. My heart goes out to you and your family but know that our Lord will walk with you on the journey of life. God bless, Monica
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Hi, this site is not only to be supportive, but also TO BE supported. This is a hard situation and you need to make the best decisions you can for yourself and your children. Just try and keep moveing forward, and eventually you'll come out on the other side of this. Good luck to you.
queenie226
I hope you do continue to come here for so many of us become close and then wonder what happened to someone when they disappear....we can always be friends no matter Whether if you are with him or not.
I have missed you! I always loved your comments ....they were always from the heart!
Glad you got your computer fixed and are able to come here again!
There are lots of groups too on DS many I think you would find are a real help thru whatever you are going thru. Plus....you never know when your mind or circumstances may change and you may feel differently.
Just real glad to hear from you sweetheart!
Love and prayers!
Love Rhea
tiredtiredtired
Ditto on what Rhea said. I hope you decide this site is somewhere you should frequent because some of us here have become close in heart and spirit. You are one I always check up on. You have to do what is right for you and your children first and foremost and those that don't understand that are looking through selfish eyes. We are all here for you no matter which path you choose to walk for now AND I have learned only recently, the only thing that is certain in this life is change itself. Follow your heart and you will always be on the path that is right for you at that time. Love, Hugs and Prayers our friend. Cindy
ChadsBabyGirl