fiddle's Journal

 Well I am back again. Had a one to one yesterday with this Condition Management Programme. Its a two hour appointment to find out all about me.My practitioner will complete an assessment form by discussing with me area such my current health, my mediction, my pass employment and the type of work that I would be looking for.My personal/social issues related to manging my health and any barries related to this. Also the aspects of lifestyle that may be stopping me from achieving my personal goals.

Its not always easy to answer these question as you know. My health is up and down, can be great for a month then out of the blue it hits me. As for my medication it can be great, have no side effects then out of the blue a would suddenly feel tired and shakey.(don't know if I spelled shakey correct.) As for work I don't know what I can do, plus I have got scared even to try. I was a cleaner, its all I can really do. But I find that making beds and thowing those bed sheets around and bending and moving sometimes causes a bit of a shock on my face. So that is out of the question work wise. I could do computer work but i don't know much about computers. I know my key board and thats about all. But if I could get computer data work I might cope as I will be sitting. But then I get told go for it, be positive and say I could do it. But I can not. I am willing to learn but to get someone to take you in and teach you is not so easy.

I get told not to mention TN, but the forms ask you what conditions you have. So I put TN. When they ask I explain but say I am on medication which is helping. But you know the work place are not interested as they don't really want people who might be off work sometimes.

I been told to go and get Voluntary work which I really don't mind doing but I really need a paid job. I am in this state of What should I do? I think people do not listen.They say you have to be less negitive and more positive. Because if you negitive people will not give you work. Really just because I am a negitive person inside does not mean I can not do a job. But they do not understand that. Trying to explain is a waste of time. By the time I get home I am so exhausted I just full a sleep. But I know I have to do something but not sure what to do. Thank goodness for the journal. I can type all my feeling and if I want swear I can.

At the moment I am baby sitting my neighbours dog, and started taking him to the park. Its been good for me as I was getting to the stage that I did not want to leave the house. He gets so excited when I say Park. He takes me to the Park which is quite funny. Yesday I blew my nose and got a shock so took a extra tablet. On the 24 August I am going to see Dr M Michel -Chronic Pain Ech. Not sure what he does. But might help.  I went on to Your Tube and typed in TN and their were some interesting things there. Some people have operations that seem to have helped them. You should look at them, I have put some on my facebook for people to check them out. Hey time for a cup of tea. I wish I could meet you all. Lovely to have a get together but we are all so far away. Have only meet one person in my area who has TN and she works when she can. Maybe I should get part time work, or day to day work. Now I am going on and on. Must put some more pictures on as my granchildren are growing so fast. Love to you all.