Join Now
DRenS 
I didn't think I was going to use the journals on here, but I have decided to. I'm pretty sure only one person will read it, and I'm positive I know who that person will be! ;)
I have been sitting around for months telling myself I need to get back on it with losing weight. For me, it's not just--or even predominantly--about being thin. It is predominantly about health. Put simply, I get tired of feeling like crap physically. Tonight (or, at this time, last night) was the final straw.
Later in the week last week, I knew I'd have to go somewhere on Sunday and told myself mentally that I needed to pull out the pants that I'd put away for good when I first lost weight and wash them so that I can have some more comfortable pants to wear on Sunday. I thought to myself that it'd just be temporary because I'd start working out soon. And I knew that, because I watch football all day on Saturdays, I probably needed to get those pants out and wash them before Saturday. I was lazy and didn't do it.
I have three different sizes of pants to work with here (don't want to say the sizes), and the ones I had planned to pull out for Sunday were the largest and pants I've almost never worn because they have always been a bit too big. The ones I'm wearing now are the in-between size, whereas the smallest size are the pants I went out and bought when I lost weight. As far as convenience, I had only two non-elastic pants with pockets to work with for Sunday, both the tweenie size (and I needed pockets).
Well, I tried to put on one of those tweenie pants and there was no way in hell I could even button them! That was the first time that has ever happened since having those pants! I panicked, because I thought that meant I wouldn't be able to fit the other tweenie ones. Miraculously, I still could, though not totally comfortably.
To top it all off, I have been feeling myself have more and more problems breathing comfortably. This is another issue I've never really had when just sitting around doing nothing. So, when I was sitting around last night thinking about the pants, the breathing, being tired all the time, daily headaches and my stomach feeling bigger, plus the possibility that it could keep getting out of hand...I just finally got up and went right on downstairs to work out. I'm hoping taking this step will mean positive change and not just a one-time workout. But with how bad I feel physically, I don't think it will just be a one-time workout.
The one thing that really amazed me was how hard the workouts I used to do were for me this time. I'm talking things I did just a few months ago, not when I was really in the thick of working out and losing weight, so these were easier things. And still, I felt like I was going to die just from jogging for a few minutes at a time and maybe 10-15 minutes of boxing, as well as some situps. I knew it would be hard, but I just kept thinking the whole time how ridiculous it was that I was struggling like that.
What was also interesting to me is how normally working out makes you feel good afterwards (except for the muscle pains in the beginning or when you try something new that works different muscles than your other workout), but I just felt physically sick, which has also never happened. I went back downstairs a couple hours later to try again, and now I do have that feel-good feeling. I also feel pretty good as far as the breathing and my headache is gone (I did take some Excedrin before the workout, but that was hours before and I still had a slight headache when I started the first workout). The good thing about me is I seem to build up more and more endurance every single time I work out--I can handle more and more every time. So I know I'll be in pain when I wake up, but I know that won't happen for long and I will be able to have better, longer workouts probably within one week.
