ladypain1's Journal

I guess I could simply sum this up as a very confusing time that seems to go on and on and just cant figure where or how to get the support I just wish and dream of having but honestly dont thing that kind will ever be for me.  I set here at the moment with tears in my eyes seems as if that is all I ever do here or anywhere, I dont really fool with this site very oftern at all like I said I just dont know if I would get any kind of encorgment I need or even if so reconize it.

Gosh I seem to bable all the time and avoid the main stuff because when I do try to get something out I just get the inpression I am intruding on some space or they really dont want to hear it anymore,  I am guessing I keep going over and over some issues either because I dont know how to say it, or the lack of true concern when I watch others female or males so close and able to make friends and share their lives together as good friends I always envey that and wonder why , and will I ever have that and yes I try to talk and so many times get ignored,and most of the time its simple little things to get in a conversation but still ignored what in the world is so wrong with me and my gosh,  What do I need to do just to have a friend and true friend all I have is just myself and each day I feel that slipping away.

Now I am divorced and really could use a true friend, my daughters (2) doen't seem to have time for me at all.. not a joke either I can count one one hand how many times my grown girls will even come to see me and when my mother does its always a something I am doing wrong in my life , we argue all the time when around each other because I just simply tell  her I dont  want to hear that stuff anymore, well then its my family they have never came to visit me and live only in the next county away.   funny how things sure show you that your no worth being around.. So got a good one for you... I am just going to up and move to the upper part of the state I am in and its very close to the boarder of another state altogether so guess I will not be loosing much dont have them around anyways,  you know I am just glad someone in this world can be really happy in at least some ways but it will never happen for me because if anything your children and family in my book is the fall back hand. 

So bless you all and best wishes in life.

T