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blondbeauty 
10:00pm, August 25, 2009
hi everyone know i have not been on for a while but have had alot going on. ended up back in the hospital march 7 but got out yesterday march 20 it was so ruff im sick of hospitals. my crohns disease still messed with my surgery so the surgeons had to go back end and redo the surgery or something like that to stop the narrowing and then treat all after that and 100 tests before and after i came home. it was shaky that i came home yesterday because i had lost my appetite and the desire to eat and still do today so everytime i get up i feel light headed and dizzy like im going to pass out.i think the anethisia makes me lose my appetite i have had crohns for a year and couple months know i hate is so bad im so happy for people who have it and live normal lives but i am completely decided i can't live with crohns and have a normal life and nothing can change that its just so hard to accept that. their are so many things i miss out on because of being in the hospital or not feeling well or stuff i can't do because i have crohns like carry a bookbag and so many more things.
"I'll keep moving on and only god knows why"
then the day after coming home from the hospital isn't any better still can't eat people fussing at you to eat then fussing at you for random little things that get me stressed out. im so stressed and overwhelmed with everything and have no one to talk face to face the only person i did have is in a better place. so i just .............................................
don't know
love ya'll so much
Comments
hey everybody,
I went to the doctor today it was okay the good news is my stomach seems to be doing okay the bad news is my blood levels were funny looking so they are watching them closely but according to the blood they drew my liver tests were better so im back on 6mp. I also found out officially i have strep throat so im on amoxicillin for the next 10 days. Which sucks because i can't do nothing this weekend and it is a long weekend to 
. Then im starting to question whether or not i want to keep a pych. like today she was asking me real personal questions once she found out i had a boyfriend and it just made me feel uncomfortable not about the subject but talking to her about it i don't know if this is possible or not but i want their to be a line in our relationship like about different topics i mainly want to talk to her about school and home stress and living and dealing with crohns maybe a little of my personal life but not all parts. I don't know im feeling alot right now. anyway hope everyone is doing good talk to ya'll later
love kayla
p.s. - i posted some new pics
Comments
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Kayla what you went thru a yr ago was very dramatic. Don't be surprised that's still that fresh in your mind. It really is normal. Everybody recovers at differant lenghs,its ok.
'In 2003 I was real sick, was in i.c.u for 13 days. My reg. pain Dr. was out of town when it was time to fill my pump so one of his associate tried but could not find the whole to fill my pump. He wigled the needle around enough that the site got infected so they could not fill my pump which thru me into withdraw which thru me into cardiac distress & had fluid on my lung. They had to drain the fluid & then they turned around & over dosed me. My kidneys shut down. They called the family in. I was so out of it & was in so much pain. I was so out of it I did not know what was what. It took me what felt like forever to recover. For the longest time I could not sleep at night. I could see the giant clock that was on the wall across from my bed. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw this clock & I would get scared I was going to die. My shrink said it was normal & it would take time. She called it Post tramatic syndrom. I know it took me a good 2 yrs before I could get it off my mind & some sleep. I would keep going to your shrink . When she touches those sensitive subjects kindley tell her your not comfortable talking about it & you change the subject. Have something ready in your head you can jump to.
Kayla, honey I am so sorry. I am so tired I really messing up big time. Can't spell correct & my thoughts are all over the place.
I have to say goodnight & I will talk to you tomorrow & hopefully be able to make some sense.
Have a good night & remember I love you
Till tomorrow.
Diana
hey everyone not much to say im doing pretty good just got off prednisone today after being on an off of it so will see how that goes. School is going pretty good met alot of new friends this week. I also got a new boyfriend so everything is good for right now. This friday the 25th i will of had crohns for a year now and they say the first year is the hardest so maybe things will calm down now since im past that im pretty happy i have been out for 3 months that is the longest i have ever been out in since i got diagnosed. i don't have to go back to the doctor until feb. if i keep doing good if not i will have to make a special trip and probably get admitted but i hope not. even though i have almost had cd for a year now i still can't control alot of things in my mind like being scared im going to get sick everyday wondering when it will hit if it does, and sometimes i still cannot tell the difference in a stomach ace and cd and i hate that, i am pretty use to feeling bad on a day to day basis and more comfortable with it. i just can't believe it has almost been a year this time last year i was in the hospital and its just all still overwhelming. well anyway i hope each and everyone of my friends here on ds are doing good and it will stay that way.
i love yall very very much i would not of made it through this year with cd without yalls support advice, and kind words. i just can't descibe what this site has done for me and how much it has helped.
kayla
Comments
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Good to hear things are looking up for you....keep the positive attitude....Bella must be getting pretty big by now....Take care much love to ya....peace my fellow tarheel!!! :-)
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I am so happy for you Kayla, what ever your doing keep it up.
Your in my prayers love Diana
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Kayla,
I understand what you are saying, but I always try to "not worry 'til it's time to worry." Stress can create more problems for you. I know that you will be fine! I care about you so much and wish you well! Keep in touch with us, all of your friends here on DS! I am very excited for you that you have met new friends and I hope you have lots of fun together!
I always enjoy hearing about how you are doing!
Lots of luv,
Patti
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Kayla, I had a bad feeling you were back in the hospital. I wish I understood & wished their was something I could do to help you. I would guess & say I am in remission. I don't get it, I'm older than you & have worked harder & longer, I should be in worse shape than you. I continually pray for you. If you ever want to talk don't hesitate, call me & I can call you right back. My heart goes out to you, I will continually pray for you.
lots of love Diana
Diana1
hi hun.i feel for you. i want to just drop you a message. i got diagnosed with crohnes at age 11. it took me all the way till age 19 to finally decide to smarten up(i fought the idea that i had a cronic illness with everything i had) and try to live life. i looked at my life and where i was and saw that i was a "better" person because of my crohnes. yes, i had to drop out of high school, the stress triggered flares, yes i lost all of my "supposedly bestfriends", yes i did'nt get out much, couldnt do much, but i was alive!and i now knew who actually cared, i understood pain and depression and lonliness and i appreciated my family,i could be happy!(while on the throne:) its so hard. still is. i have my days also where i curl up in bed and cry for a couple hours and dont want to do anything,or go anywhere, but then i get up early the next morning and get lots done and those are the days i feel best!oh sweetie i hope i'm helping you to feel even a wee bit better. you hang in there!you're a trooper, we all are. thinking of you lots, my heart hurts for your pain. i'm here to chat about the difficulties if you wish!!!hugs!
shmhoopy
So sorry to hear that you are going through such a bad time. I was diagnosed at 14 - have had it for over 40 years and it DOES get better - you will have long periods of remission and the right medication WILL control the inflammation and flare-ups - you WILL enjoy life and life WILL fulfill you - it is just that while you are suffering like you are - you really can't see an end to it - a breathing space, a better time - but I promise you - it is just ahead, just along the road - take a deep breath and be very, very kind to yourself. Love and Light, Holly7
Holly7