euurgghhH!
September 21, 2009 4:32pm
Feeling crappy today, I started my new job in a lab and I hate it! Plus a couple of my brothers friends died in a car accident at the weekend …
Pixielix 
11:23am, October 27, 2009
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About Me
Pixielix
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About Me
I lost my brother Danny just over a year ago. Struggling daily to return to some kind of normality. Anti depressents just seem to suppress feelings I really should be dealing with. I'm afraid of how I feel and how if I let them seem through a little bit, they will desptroy me. I am angry with him for not believing in himself, for taking himself away from me. I am numbed from life and all its treasures. I feel so lost without my best friend. Wishing and hoping for survival.
I lost my brother Danny just over a year ago. Struggling daily to return to some kind of normality. Anti depressents just seem to suppress feelings I really should be dealing with. I'm afraid of how I feel and how if I let them seem through a little bit, they will desptroy me. I am angry with him for not believing in himself, for taking himself away from me. I am numbed from life and all its treasures. I feel so lost without my best friend. Wishing and hoping for survival.
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Recent Activity
October 27
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Pixielix updated their status 11:23am
Thinking of all my friends on DS even when I dont come on here.xxxx…
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Pixielix commented on rcoco’s journal entry Happy Birthday Son 11:20am
Thinking of you, now and always! xxxx…
July 8
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Pixielix turned 26 12:00am
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Journal
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Heartbreak takes a thousand forms
September 10, 2009 5:46pm
I feel like I have so much love to give now your gone, I concentrate on all the wrong people. I have fallen in love, he messes with my …
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Just a little thought
August 28, 2009 3:02pm
Happiness is written in the sand, Sorrow and grief are etched on the wall, I will keep writing in the sand forever, And one day I will …
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Bad day, Im right back where I started
August 19, 2009 3:37pm
I had another interview, this time for a biomedical support worker in a lab. The interview didnt go very well btu I didnt really care because …
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NEW JOB!
August 6, 2009 3:47pm
Dear Danny
I got a new job today, I know you were there because I found your angel feather next to my seat. Thank you, it gave me an edge. …
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Hugbook
Hug
I am so sorry that i haven't been around for sometime here in DS. But that doesn't mean i have forgotten u in my prayers!
Hug
Thanks
My son's name is Torrey. Thank you.
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Thanks
If you ever truly feel like you'd want to write my son, I will glad to give you the address. It touches me deeply for you to even mention it casually!!! It shows how much you really care. Even if you're never able to write him, I will always appreciate the love you've shown. May the sun shine warm on your shoulders and memories of Danny place a smile on your face. Hugs, Teri.
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Rainbow
I just thought of something.....You commented on my journal....I always save journal entries for "friends only"...??? How did you find me in the first place??? I am now convinced our "meeting" was orchestrated by Kala and Dan...knowing for sure you have a lot to offer me, and perhaps I have something to offer you. Interesting!! Hugs, Teri
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a SiblingI lost my brother Daniel almost 3 months ago. He had a heroin overdose. He was soul, my twin, my heart and I can't function without him. I go to work everyday but I leave in tears and as I work with my Dad he is going through it too so it's hard to hide how I'm feeling. I often feel suicidal because I want to be with him again. I hate that I pushed him away, and feel that I left him feeling trapped with no way out. I will never forgive myself for not being there for him at the end.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- I cry all the time...at work, at home, at a song on the radio, at something on the news, at anything that reminds me of Dan.
- Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful
- I get angry ALOT. Punching pillows is a particular fav.
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- I was described as "Grief Appropriate" and sent on my way...there is nothing to worry about what your feeling is normal and it will get easier. I left her office feeling completely and utterly alone...however "grief appropriate" I was meant to be.
- Keeping Busy Working / Worked
- I am trying to get back in to work but feel it is too early. I can't concentrate and am very forgetful.
- Pets Working / Worked
- The fact that I have to be responsible for my Dog Glo is a huge help, she gets me out of the house everyday and is my constant companion.
- Poetry Working / Worked
- I have written alot since he died. I wrote a poem which was read out at his funeral and is now on a plaque next to his grave.
- Reading Working / Worked
- I have read a few books about grief which were quite helpful but didn't seem to relate to how I'm feeling so I've thrown myself into the world of Sci-fi instead.
- Scrapbooking Working / Worked
- I've always kept a scrap book and I've recently be writing poems in it and sticking things in that remind me of Dan.
- Time Not Working
- Time doesn't seem to be moving. I feel like I'm in a bubble and one day it will burst and the world would of left me behind.
Close Bereavement - Teens
I lost my brother in May this year. Have been very strong but am slowly going to pieces again. I visit the grave and it makes my not want to go on.
Treatments
- Remembering Working / Worked
Open Loneliness
Pixielix hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
