Allie072408's Journal

You know when those waves of sadness follow you for a little while? Well it's been like that for 5 days or so now..I've cried every night for him. I miss him so much. 

I'm goin into my senior year of high school without my dad. I just can't believe it. I can't help but to think back to a talk we had together in Dec 07..our last christmas together. He said he was goin to make it to my high school graduation because he wasn't givin up..I know he was sufferin and I couldn't bear to see him like that, I just wish I got more time with him and that he can actually be there. I know he'll be in my heart like always, but it's not the same..

& now I passed my road test today & FINALLY have my senior license. I turned 17 in January so I should've had it awhile ago..I just never scheduled my road test haha. But anyways I'm so thrilled to have it, I just wish I could text Pop and tell him. The first thing I wanted to do was call or text him and let him know because I know he would be so excited for me. But I couldn't and I almost started to cry. My stepdad took me and I'm so grateful..but it's not the same. He's a real nice guy, but he's not my dad. I saw so many people with their parents and it made me miss him real bad. I can't help it..I feel like there's so much goin on & all I want to do is talk to him.

I feel so lost...