Journal Entry for September 10, 2009
September 10, 2009 9:00pm
cynicalcat
8:21am, September 7, 2009
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About Me
cynicalcat
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About Me
microscopist, "dark", online auctioneer, atheist, degreed geographer (anthropology minor), secular humanist, skeptical inquirer, freethinker
microscopist, "dark", online auctioneer, atheist, degreed geographer (anthropology minor), secular humanist, skeptical inquirer, freethinker
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Interests
reading, listening to music, watching films, hiking, spending time w/ my cats, cooking, watching baseball (& football to a lesser extent)
reading, listening to music, watching films, hiking, spending time w/ my cats, cooking, watching baseball
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Recent Activity
November 14
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cynicalcat gave yourkiddin a hug 3:52pm
Much luck to you! My job's just been so stressful that I try to smoke less but end up smoking ... &…
April 29
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cynicalcat turned 32 12:00am
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Journal
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ugh
September 10, 2009 8:43pm
Dealing w/ a lot of weight concerns lately. Luckily, I have not cut lately nor had a smoke. *sigh* It's not easy.
I'm still …
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Journal Entry for September 7, 2009
September 7, 2009 8:24am
Well, times are good. Times are bad. *sigh* Such is life, eh?
I cut last week. 1st time in over 200 days. I'm not …
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ridiculous thoughts
August 16, 2009 7:46pm
I often feel like I try so hard to keep it together only to notice that the more I need to contain something, the more it seeps through in unexpected …
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Hugbook
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Hug
OK Here I go again with the quitting smoking!! I hope I can do better this time. Oct 1 no smoking at work whitch will help and Im so cold I smoke little in winter cuz NO smoking in my house I hope I can do it this time!!!! Ill keep in touch..
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Hug
OK Here I go again with the quitting smoking!! I hope I can do better this time. Oct 1 no smoking at work whitch will help and Im so cold I smoke little in winter cuz NO smoking in my house I hope I can do it this time!!!! Ill keep in touch..
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Well Done
What if anything is everyone using as replacement???
Get Well Soon!
Hugs hope you feel better soon
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Thumbs Up
Thank you for sending me that web site link. I really liked it. The bunnies on there did make me smile.
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Photos
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Goals
View all in progress Goals
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Support Groups
Close Self-Injury
15+ year history of anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism, cutting, & well, you name it, I've done it to hurt myself.
Treatments
- Outpatient Treatment Program Somewhat Helpful
- worked alright, but I really never felt anyone I could fully trust who really "knew" what I was going through
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- worked alright, but I really never felt anyone I could fully trust who really "knew" what I was going through
- Rubber Bands Too Soon to Tell
- Trying that now. Seems to be ok ... at least doesn't leave permanent scars
- Talking Considering
- sometimes helps & other times does not
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) Depression15+ year history of anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism, cutting, & well, you name it, I've done it to hurt myself.
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- I think it all depends on the therapist. CBT/REBT is incredibly helpful if you can find the right person to work with. Sadly, I have yet to find that right person.
- Lexapro Somewhat Helpful
- It was alright, but made me incredibly sleepy.
- Meditation Not Working
- My mind races so much. I'm trying to calm it down w/ meditating, but it's really hard. At this point it isn't working.
- Positive Thinking Not Working
- Again, I try to repeat positive mantras. It doesn't work at the moment.
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- I find it helpful in larger doses w/ minimal-to-zero side effects.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Support always helps to a degree.
- Writing Too Soon to Tell
- I'm trying it now ... will update as I go along.
- Pets Working / Worked
- Seriously! Spending time w a dog or cat or whatever pet who loves you unconditionally makes you feel better. I dont know where Id be wo my beloved kitties!!!
Open Eating Disorders
Type: Bulimia15+ year history of anorexia, bulimia, alcoholism, cutting, & well, you name it, I've done it to hurt myself.
Treatments
- Lexapro Not Working
- Made me too sleepy @ 20mg.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- High doses >80mg worked but made me manic at times
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Been to several therapists throughout life. Found they couldn't relate & couldn't help.
Open Acne
Acne vulgaris for close to 20 years ... need to go back to dermatologist to get it under control ... but don't think health insurance will cover it. Scant little OTC works on me. Incredibly oily skin. Acne is everywhereL facial, back, chest, scalp, thighs.
Treatments
- AcneFree Not Working
- Nope. Made it worse as does any product w/ salicylic acid, like Murad.
- Benzaclin Working / Worked
- Worked when I was a teen.
- Benzoyl Peroxide Working / Worked
- For OTC, works very well ... but bleaches clothing, bed sheets, etc. & doesn't set under makeup well.
- Proactiv Not Working
- Nope. Made it worse as does any product w/ salicylic acid, like Murad.
- Retin-A Working / Worked
- 0.1% works w/ very little dryness for me.
- Tetracycline Working / Worked
- worked when I was a teen
- Washing Not Working
- Unless it's a cleanser w/ 10% B-Prox, it doesn't help much.
Open Vegetarians & Vegans
Type: OtherFormer vegetarian; I haven't eaten pork or beef since 1996. I resumed eating fish & fowl in 1997 due to my inability to afford soy products. I eat soy products often & may return to ovo-lacto vegetarianism. At this point, I'm only a half-hearted vegetarian. I often go days w/o a flesh-based product. I also try to buy natural, organic, & 9 times of 10, products not tested on animals. My motivations are health, environmental, economic, & morality.
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
10 year chronic smoker. Used patch this past May & quit. Relapsed 1 day in August.
Treatments
- Cold Turkey Not Working
- Worked when I was younger/ less physically addicted.
- Hard Candy Working / Worked
- I suck on minty LifeSavers when I'm stressed. I also chew a lot of minty gum
- Nicotine Gum Not Working
- Tastes too awful. Blister packs are frustrating to open.
- Nicotine Patch Working / Worked
- Worked so far. Off patch 3 months. Off smokes 4 months. Hard to sleep w/ patch on though.
- Willpower Working / Worked
- Works to a degree. Some need a crutch though.
Open Phobia
Type: Social Phobiasocial phobia mostly although I prefer to insist it's my general dislike for humanity
Treatments
- Acceptance Not Working
- Rationalizing doesn't always work especially if I don't follow up on it
