Join Now
BazLazarus 
16 minutes ago
At the moment, I cant be here, I cant respond to hugs, I cant accept kindness. Its disgusting I know but I am unable to try and seem like everything is fine. Ive been really ill for 3 days, sickness, headaches, the works. Its all to much for me when added to this bullshit fraud case thats hanging over my head like a dark cloud waiting to strike me down.
The thing that I find most annoying about it is, they will not admit any blame in the things I was forced to do. I will have a criminal record, which will make it harder to get a job when Im finally allowed to. But they dont think of that, they only think of meeting their targets for government.
I fucking hate all of this with such a passion.
Being found absolutely guilty will kill any need in me to try anymore. I will give up, not just on work but life. Its hard enough as it is, with a record ill-deserved there is just no point.
This life has been a cunt to me, it really has.
Abused as a child.
Unwanted by my father.
Bullied through school.
Failure at education.
Had jobs taken away from me
Cant do anymore to change things, I really cant. This world is close to seeing the last of me
Comments
Im living in a room in a very big box.
Its just me a goldilocks.
I only come out once a year
and thats to nibble on pinnochios ear.
Comments
-
ah nice!
When you're falling, you're the only one that doesn't see the distance.
Too fucking true
Comments
-
wow, that's deep. hugs, baz
Past Entries
Goal Updated
It's okay for you to not be here anymore - on DS. This world needs you however, you may disagree but I'm right. 8-P Your son needs you Jason, your wife needs you and you may want to throw in the towel, but you need to fight. I know you're tired of fighting.
It makes me upset to think of, all this is so undeserved - not that I'm the determiner of who is or isn't deserving but you're such an awesome person- I don't know it just pisses me off that you can't catch a break. You can get through all this -you have gotten through worse - no you shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have had to get through most of the shit I've been through either and you would be one of the first to tell me so. Baz - don't shut everyone and everything out - fine if you don't feel like returning hugs -those of us that love you really don't give a fuck we just want you to be alright. I mean it when I say that... I don't give a fuck if I send you 20 hugs and hear nothing for weeks as long as I see signs of life - journal entries, posts whatever...
I hate that you're being pushed - once again. Bugs the crap out of me. You got way too much bad information growing up - from your dad, from any assholes that bullied you etc etc.. You aren't that kid anymore. You're a wise man that I care about loads. Please try and take this one step at a time., Fight this fraud bullshit. Fight for your life. You could have given up long ago but you haven't - you have fought and you' have pushed through. Please keep pushing. Whats that quote .. "If you're going through hell just keep going"... There is goodness to be had - for you - in this world. You just haven't yet gotten your share. Sending love.
DutchityDutch
i am here as always. please get in touch babes. i have had a similar life to yours as you know . xxxx
CadoAngelus1976