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xenobia 
Back in December, I discovered that my husband was having an affair. My first reaction was deep, deep, deep pain as I never thought that would happen to us. Yes, I know that our relationship had become strained but I did not believe that we were in this type of trouble. He was out of town when I found out and I was waiting to have it out with him upon his return but a divorced friend of mine advised that I remain calm, keep my mouth shut and save money etc. set myself up to be able to take care of myself and our kids should he decide to leave. I am doing just that but this is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I am now trying to put together savings for us for rent, food, phone etc, money to help me live on.
The biggest mistakes that I made was not to save any money during the marriage. Well what I did save I spent on going back to school. I am so glad that I went back to school but I am new in the workforce as I stayed home to takde care of our kids. I am working, saving as much money as I can, trying to improve our marriage, going to therapy, trying to make H happy, working at a new job, trying to pretend to H and kids that everything is OK and I recently went back to school again in hopes of raising my salary so I can take care of us. Whew! I have so many balls in the air that It amazes me that I am still standing.
I am still standing but the pain at times is strong that I have to hold onto something just to keep standing. I am afraid to confront my H for fear that his response is to leave me or stay with me and continue the affair. I want to try to spare our kids the pain of what comes with divorce and I want to have a big enough savings that I know that I can take care of myself. I want a financial cushion to sort of soften the blow. I love my h but right now that does not seem to be the issue. I need to learn how to live and take care of myself without him. So folks, does anyone have any ideas about how I can do this?
I would appreciate any suggestions. Thank you.
