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  SST (10/15/09)

  Larry is in Hospital Rm. 232
  Who the hell is 'Larry'? Well Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and, Linda, his wife says, 'Where the hell have you been?' Larry replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo. ''A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get? ''I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,' he said proudly. 'What the hell were you thinking?! She said, shaking her head in disgust. 'Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?' "Well, One, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want. "Larry is recovering in room 232 at the Hospital
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  Rainbow
  

  findapril (10/13/09)

  hi crazy, :)
  thinking of you alot today, & taking the time to just say "HI" I pray that you are doing okay? I am at peace at this time, but into "Deep Thinking". I know that you have that at times also. Then it becomes "Overwelming" & then it starts to bumb you out also. thinking of the time i was younger, & all that i could do back then that i can't do now. i know how to do it, but don't have the stenght or money to do anything anyway! that bumbs me out! Been asking the Lord if i could just have one thing it would be....back when i was married (not that i loved being married then), but the times that i did EVERYTHING, & always on the go, helping others, working on all kinds of things. the good days from yesteryears. :( Have to keep thinking positive with the Blessings i have Right now before me, & cont to fight & do those things that i did before!!! Not making it though!! bumbs me out. but at peace i think? Pray that you are doing okay? you are on my mind, & prayers! I am Always here for you!
  Always,
  april
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  SST (10/11/09)

  I went for my mammogram appointment. I was met with, 'Hi! I'm Belinda!'
  
  This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.
  
  Everything clear?
  
  I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.'
  
  Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
  
  With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and Said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'
  
  Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?
  
  My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!
  
  'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda headed for the door.
  
  'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.
  
  Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'
  
  Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared.
  
  And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!
  
  After exchanging polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
  
  Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'
  
  'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved goodbye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
  
  Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'
  
  'And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps'
  
  
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  Little Love
  

  findapril (10/09/09)

  thank you crazy,
  i really need ahug today. having a terrible day, & ALOT of depression. Hope you are doing better then i right now!
  thank you for the hug!
  Always,
  april
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  SST (10/08/09)

  Don't know if it's true but it is funny!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
  
  
  
  Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
  
  
  
  
  Hi Sue,
  
  Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
  
  Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all
  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
  
  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
  So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature..
  It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
  
  Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
  What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
  
  Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. With in a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
  
  The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
  
  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
  
  I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
  
  Needless to say I aborted the dive.. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
  
  When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
  
  The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
  So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
  
  Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
  
  Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
  
  May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
  
  
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  Flowers
  

  grammykittylynn (10/06/09)
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  Bailey42 (10/04/09)

  Hello my friend!!
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  Moment of Peace
  

  grammykittylynn (10/03/09)

  in a to hectic and noisey world.
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  LarryLDN (10/03/09)

  heading south before winter LOL. my potential itinerary is in my latest journal. my first goal is #9, in Palatka Fla
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  dancer4wind (10/03/09)

  funny face, i miss you... funny face, i love you!

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