tlscmt97's Journal

The last few days have been very stressful.  Tuesday my soon to be ex-husband called and said he got the divorce papers and he’s contesting them because the paperwork says that he is responsible for half the martial debt and my attorney.  I called the attorney the next day and talked to the secretary.  She said that is the standard form for the divorce papers.  She said the appointment I have with the attorney next week for the property petition would be when I tell the attorney what he would be responsible for.  She said that even though he has filed, the divorce can still go uncontested if he agrees to the property petition.  So I called the jail and told them to have him call me so I could explain what the secretary said.  He never called before I left the house.  He called three times while we were gone.  I figure he will call tonight.
The daycare called me and wanted me to take sis back to the doctor because she was still hurting and they wanted to make sure her bladder infection was cleared up.  So I took her back to the immediate care center to have her checked.  The urine test came back clean.  The doctor asked her if she had ever had a penis inside her and she said yes.  My heart started pounding and the doctor looked at me and I told her that she had never had sex as far as I knew.  The doctor asked her if she knew what a penis was and sis said it was the thing guys had between their legs.  The doctor asked her when it had happened and she said a long time ago.  The doctor asked her if she had wanted the penis inside her and she said no.  The doctor asked her who it was and she said my brother.  I started shaking, I was so angry and stunned.  Sis told her that she tried to push him off her, but she couldn’t.  The doctor said that I needed to take her to an emergency room that dealt with abuse and that she would have to notify Adult Protective Services.  I told her that I had been molested by my brother when I was younger.  She said nothing would probably happen but bring up bad memories for me, but she still had to notify them.  She asked if he had been charged and I told her no.  She asked if the family would consider pressing charges and I told her that it’s just me and her, that mom and dad were dead.  It took all I had not to completely break down, but I knew I had to keep it together for sis, because if I got upset she would get upset.
So we went to the hospital and I was trying to tell the nurse why we were there and it took me a few minutes to pull myself together and try to explain.  The doctor came in and she asked when it had happened and I told her it had to be at least 15 years ago, that was the last time that she would’ve been around him alone.  The doctor said that since it happened so long ago that medically there wasn’t anything that they could do.  She told me that she would give me some phone numbers for people to talk to if I considered pressing charges.  I told her that I was seeing a therapist to deal with my own abuse and that I would call and talk to her.  
They took blood and urine and ended up doing a CT scan to check her appendix.  They said her blood and urine tests came back clean and that the CT scan showed her appendix was fine, but she had a cyst on her right ovary and that was what was causing the pain.  At this point we were just ready to go home and eat.  I was still fighting breaking down but I just wanted to eat and go to bed.  
We got home about 10 p.m. and Bear (our dog) was loose.  We brought her in and we ate.  Bear was acting real antsy and I was gathering up the garbage when I heard her yelp so I went into the kitchen and I noticed about 3 drops of blood on the floor.  I checked her front paws and no blood, so I was checking her back paw when I noticed a hole, about the size of a quarter, right above her tail.  I grabbed the flashlight and looked at it and noticed maggots.  I got my sister out of bed and loaded the dog up in the truck and we drove to the emergency vet’s office.  They told me that it was a deep wound that had to be flushed out and closed up.  I told them that I didn’t have a lot of money to be able to spend so they told me that they could give her a mild sedative and flush the wound out and close it.  When we went back inside to check on her, they said that it was a deep wound that went off to the left and right.  They said that there was dead tissue that needed to be removed and that the tissue had separated and she would need surgery to repair it.  The vet said that it could’ve been a really bad spider bite or Lyme disease from a tick, or she could’ve injured herself in the woods.  The vet said it could’ve started out real small but got infected which caused the hole to get bigger.  They gave me a prescription for antibiotics and loaded her up in the truck.  We got home about 2 a.m. this morning.  I carried the dog in because she was still real groggy from the sedative and we went to bed.  
Before I left this morning, I carried her outside.  I was afraid to put her in the grass because of the wound.  But she couldn’t even stand up on her own for very long this morning.  I brought her back inside and she laid down on the towel.  I filled her prescription and when I got home she was standing up, waiting for me.  I gave her an antibiotic as soon as she finished eating.  The wound is still draining but it looks a lot better.  I am going to see how she is feeling Monday, because if the damage can’t heal on its own, I can’t afford surgery and since she’s 12 years old, I don’t want to put her through all that pain.  As much as I hate to lose her, I can’t stand the thought of her suffering either.  
I broke down and cried a little bit today, but I know that I have more crying to do.  I was so exhausted last night that I didn’t have the energy to cry then.  I will probably cry tonight before I fall asleep.  I had to tell my little girl last night that I couldn’t cry right then, but I imagined holding her in my arms and rocking her, trying to comfort her.  I am considering pressing charges, but I don’t know that I could handle it right now.  It was bad enough that he did it to me, but to do it to sis to is just unacceptable.  I didn’t ask her any questions about it, because I’m not sure I can handle it right now.  I’m not sure what will happen since they’ve notified Adult Protective Services.