freedomcanhappen's Journal

So, I went to the library yesterday to pick up some more books for my art classes I am teahcing this summer and right next to arts was sports and I walk by and just staring at me is a book called "Chalked UP"  written by a past us natial champion about the EDs coaching etc, basically her experiences in the sport etc.  So, I coulnd't resist. I checked it out and cant put it down very easily.  it so far is very simialar to my story.

As this 7 years old knowing already that it isnt about your accomplishments but its about what you haven't done yet.  always striving, nothing is ever good enough, weigh ins etc.

so, I get online and start looking some stuff up that I am reminded of. and my very old coach came up and This was my very first coach who actually was a very good man.  He has been awarded honors for his work with youth.  Anwyay, I found him on facebook and sent him a message and he wrote me back.  I was so excited and happy and now I feel a bit sad.

I alwys get sad ove the sport.  It is sucha part of my life.  I have healed a lot but sometimes I still grieve. 

Im okay.  nothing tragic happening like neg. urges or anything. 

i feel like crying though.

just when I think i have no more tears for my experieinces, there they come.