freedomcanhappen's Journal

Siting here at the coffee shop. my laptop fixed.  upset. don't know what to do.

chosen positive behaviors so far today.  I wanted not to but i did but I don't feel any better.

Life sucks.  I m depressed, my hbby is depressed. 

i told him last week about lying about puking and actually how bad things were with my bahviors and I didn't know what to expect but not what  I got.

What I got:

" so tell me whats going to happen you just get really skinny and die?, are you lying about everything else too? (I have never been anything but honest.  He has always known everything.)  and the kicker."I don't know if I accept you for who you are or not. I thought I did but I don't know now."

I have to recover for me.

I know hes depressed and confused and probably angry and hurt that I have been doing negative behaviors but gosh. that is a way to retort back.

We went for another drive today and went to lunch and basically were very ver silent.

I got home and got on my bike and came to where I am.  I don't even want to go home.  I told him I loved him.  and silence.  I asked. "do you love me?"  he said yes and geve me a hug.  he said very very much.

I don't know what to think.