Journal

I don't know.  I am tired all the time.  I hate money and bills.  Kevin is so unhappy with me, but oddly, I am happy with everything with us.  He just wants to have sex more, but I am too tired and not interested.  I just read an article that it's related to breastfeeding.  Kendyl is fast approaching 2 years old and I honestly didn't think that I would still be breastfeeding her, but I wanted to go "cruchy" with her and be more natural.  I am doing the child led weaning, only she's still breastfeeding 3 times a day.  First thing in the morning when I get home from work, first thing in the afternoon when she gets home from daycare, and then at bedtime.  It doesn't interfere with her meals, she has good food intake.  It's more for affection.  I don't mind, but he does.  He tells her no, but I don't think it's his decision, it's between her and me.  And at this point we are both ok.  I start classes this fall on my Bachelor's degree.  That's really it.

Well, I came to work tonight to find 2 victims in a car accident being worked on.  The one died, it was pretty bad.  The one I helped has a broken cheek bone, a fracture in his lumbar 4 and 5, and a bleed on the side of his brain.  He was stable, but combative.  I think we did a good job on him, but I feel empty somehow.  I want this fulfilled feeling, but I just don't have it.  I was able to keep him calm and coax him into cooperating with out battery of tests.  Maybe if I knew how he turns out I could feel better.  I don't know.  There's not much there for feelings or thoughts.