chichiguita's Journal

I am weary of this soul-soreness. 

A month ago today was our 19th wedding anniversary.  Am I going to remember all I have lost every month.  It is almost harder today because last month I was focused on getting the papers taken care of and getting moved.  I knew I only had a little bit of time to do all that. 

Today I am settled in at D and K's.  Son seems happy and is enjoying being back home.  I am still working to find a job, but I am taking care of some kids whose mom is in rehab--so I am not feeling out and out desperate. 

It seems like each day reveals another layer of how things will never be the same. 

People say things about "finding another love someday"...I don't know.  I wanted to find you.

I still feel so shipwrecked and lost.  I know K sees it and she tries to get me to talk about it.  I have to be very careful about that--I am afraid sometime I will start to cry and never stop.