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chichiguita 
1:39pm, October 19, 2008
There is so much about this year that has symbolic meaning. Our preacher talked today about how adversity shapes us. He talked about how Hurricane Katrina mobilized the church in the South (all over, really).
It was the week Katrina hit the south that the huricane (of sorts) began to hit my life. I remember watching the newscasts and identifying with the feelings of the traumatized people. Since then, my hurricane has just kept coming. It has taken several forms--but has rarely let up for very long. I am left with very little.
This year "in exile" with Katrina survivors has been good for me. You aren't around people down here very long before they start to tell you thier Katrina stories. They tell you where they were when their roof came off over their heads. I've heard more than one story of people clinging to trees while the surge rolled over them washing away whole casinos. They remember the stench after. The clean up that seemed like it would never get clean. They tell of weeks without a shower or electricity in 90+ heat. They tell of standing in line for hours for gas, water and rations. They tell you about neighbors they saw the day before, hammering boards over their windows who were never found after the surge.
Then--they tell you about rebuilding.
...and you can hardly imagine ever being that strong.
Right now, I know I need to be "that strong".
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see, the thing about a hurricane is that group spirit. the strength we need now can feel so... isolated, even though it's not. i had 70 mile and hour winds, unexpectedly, at my place, at the horrible beginning of my grief, and all the torn up trees and no power, somehow, it matched what i was going through, the outside matched the inside, but just made things even harder.
anwyay, I wish you this strength. pace yourself. part of it is being weak, falling a lot, and refusing to give up.
once i heard that 'there is a power in this vulnerable time' - look for that, the power in the times you feel week, vulnerable, alone, for that mysterious power.
rooting for you ~~~
trailblazer