Journal

It's BEEN A WHILE since I was last on here! o.o

So....Update anyone? Oo

Anyway, I'm at the end of the school year (yes I'm still in school, it sucks) and I've changed a lot. I'm becoming more open to myself and to others, I've stopped cutting and many friendships and relationships have shifted and changed.

I'm much more open (as I've already said) and my importance of others opinions has finally decreased. Be proud XD

My confidence and self esteem has gone up considerably, which I find it amazing.
We finally started figuring out my stomach problems, food allergies, and are now treating it :3 I'm planning on actually getting *active* this summer Oo *is scared of self*

Well, it's almost 11 PM here and I need to finish up going 'round here and seeing what I missed, so write again when I do!

Ciao!

Makoflazy

My room is a disaster, and it needs to be cleaned.

Beginning of my goal, so off I go!

*twitches, sweatdropping* 

I hate this....TT_TT 

It's happened again. I've frozen up and saw 'him'.

'him' or 'Jack' as my physciatrist calls him, is a floating head that looked as if it were literally ripped off his body. pale blue skin, white hair, ect.ect. normal ghost attributes. but his eyes are pure white! they glow! what the hell?!

I've seen him since I was about 5 years old, and I stopped seeing him around 10. No one knows why he suddenly decided to start haunting me again. But it SUCKS. 

and that's not all there is to it. he STARES at me. and doesn't STOP staring at me!! His mouth also moves as if he's trying to say something, but I can't hear him....It's freaky!

and on my floor, across from..Jack...is his mangled body pulling itself across my floor. Broken bones pokeing out of the skin, bruises everywhere...it's disgusting.

But like I said. I happened again last night so I was so scared stiff I could only stare at him for a while before turning all the lights on in my room. (I already have a lamp I use as a nightlight)

and running into my parent's room to wake my mom up and get hugged while I'm sniffling and crying out of fear. It SUCKS. because I'm 15. I shouldn't HAVE to cling to my mom like I was 5 years old again! I even slept on the floor next to my mom's side of the bed, holding her hand.

My Physaciatrist, says it's Sleep Paralysis. and that you can have horrific hallucinations while in one in episodes. 

My mom's getting me into a sleep study so they can figure it out. I'm sure what the diagnosis really is. and I don't care. I just want be able to sleep without needing pills or fear that something's going to hurt me.