Untitled No.3
June 12, 2009 8:26pm
;You waste your time;
You waste my time;
I say this not to mock.
You search and search to find a key
When there isn’t any lock. …
Progress
20 %
DD7621
3:20am, June 11, 2009
-
About Me
DD7621
-
About Me
About me...It has always been difficult for me to talk about myself; the fact that I have this illness that's like a part of me has a chilling effect on just how honest I want to be when answering questions like, "How are you feeling today?" More about that elswhere. I'm in my 50's...going back to school to earn a bachelors degree...single. I get little or no support from my family; they all seem to think I should be satisfied with what I've got; a monthly check from the government and a part-time job. They all treat me like some kind of perpetual patient. I know I can be better, after all, I'm a native New Yorker and we're a hearty bunch.
About me...It has always been difficult for me to talk about myself; the fact that I have this illness that's like a part of me has a chilling effect on just how honest I want to be when answering questions like, "How are you feeling today?" More about that elswhere. I'm in my 50's...going back to school to earn a bachelors degree...single. I get little or no support from my family; they all seem to think I should be satisfied with what I've got; a monthly check from the government and a part-time
-
Interests
My interests are many and varied. I like to do artsy-craftsy things like knit, crochet, needlpont, embroider. Living as I do in the Big Apple, I've always been exposed to the Arts in a big way. I enjoy the dance, classical music, LIVE jazz, Opera, and of course Broadway. I enjoy sports of all kinds as a spectator, but only play at basketball. I LOVE to dance. It is on my bucket list that I learn to dance the Jive to big band music with a willing partner before I go....What else? Oh yes, I have a lifelong interest in computers and computing. It was my profession before I became ill and I have clocked about 15 years in the field. I hope to find my way back into the field someday. I like to read and I write poetry and prose. There's at least one unfinished short story that I know of on my hard drive...not enough research, but I'll get around to it.
My interests are many and varied. I like to do artsy-craftsy things like knit, crochet, needlpont, embroider.
-
-
Recent Activity
- Sorry, there is no activity in the My Activity feed.
-
Journal
-
-
Ever upward......
May 28, 2009 10:00pm
It's been sometime since I wrote that first journal entry. The same day that I wrote it, I joined the Schizophrenia group and was …
-
I never thought I'd EVER recover.....
October 12, 2008 5:46pm
When I first started getting sick back in 1986, I didn't know what was happening to me. I was slovenly, unable to perform the most mundane …
-
-
Hugbook
Hug
missing you hoping you are well....mark
Hug
Thank you. Its been a rough couple of weeks for me and your kind words really picked me up a lot. Getting out of the hospital is rough on me, and it really helps to come back and see kind words left by a total stranger. It means more than you can imagine. Thank you :)
Rainbow
Deborah...I really appreciate your comments and your concern for me.....quitting is hard, but staying quit is the real clincher....there are priorities in my life that need to be realigned desperately....until I do this, I know that quitting for good will be next to impossible....withdrawel is very taxing, first physically and then emotionally, and I cannot afford to mess it up with a relapse. I have to do it once, and do it right.
It took a long time to get where I am, and I suspect that it will take a while to get back. Part of the process of healing for me will be to finally deal with some of the emotional baggage (abuse issues and famiy traumas) in my life that has dragged me down...for a long time, I just pushed it away. I felt like I just had to be strong and keep fighting. I couldn't admit to myself that I needed help. And so I just got sicker and sicker, until I finally turned to the "meds" to help keep me from shattering completely.
I've finally admitted to myself that I need help. And I'm going to get that help and make the life changes that need to happen to become the person that God would want me to be. I know it's going to hurt. There's so many memories, bad memories, and so many hurts that I just hid away, and honestly I'm scared just thinking about them. I'm not sure that I won't go completely insane when they re-surface, but I've got to try.
I hope this all makes some sense to you and helps you understand where I am at, and what needs to happen.
Thanks for being a friend and caring so much about me...having read your journals, I know you are fighting through your own challenges, too, and the fact that you can step outside your own suffering and take an interest in someone else speaks volumes about your character :)
Still praying for you...
C``
Hug
hi! How are you today?
-
Prayer
Good grief, I just read your journal entry from October and it brough me to tears....I cannot imagine suffering so....I'm sorry you had to go through all that and be betrayed by the people you are supposed to trust the most....I give you a prayer, it might not do any good, but I beleive that every prayer we offer up is heard somewhere, perhaps if only by the lowliest of angels, but it's better than naught..
-
Photos
DD7621 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
-
Advertisement -
Support Groups
Close Schizophrenia
Abilify was the last drug the docs tried on me. It has changed my life and is powering my recovery. I feel completely normal on this drug
Treatments
- Abilify Working / Worked
- It has and is working. It has turned me from a withdrawn, anti-social, run-of the-mill psychotic into what I like to call a "norm". Highly recommend you try it. Gained some weight, sometimes dizziness and loss of balance but who cares?...I can function again.
- Cogentin Not Working
- I was prescribed this drug back in the 80's in conjunction with Haldol, which has horrendous side effects. The purpose was to ameliorate the Haldol side effects. I had no way to ameliorte the Cogentin side effcts. Stopped taking it.
- Geodon Not Working
- Not only that, it made my lower legs swell to a quarter of their mormal size!
- Navane Not Working
- Prolixin Not Working
- Risperdal Working / Worked
- Zyprexa Not Working
Close COPD & Emphysema
I was hospitalized recently because I was short of breath, wheezing and barely able to breathe. At the hospital, the doctors told me I had a pre-diagnoses of COPD and a upper respiratoty viral infection. The COPD diagnoses scares me as I don't know anything about the disease. I don't even know if its curable or fatal. Hope to learn something here.
Treatments
- Albuterol Working / Worked
- Was given the drug in an ambulance on the way to hospital and it eased my breathing difficlulties
- Prednisone Working / Worked
- They told me it would help my beathing and it didhas.
