Journal

i was taking paxil for a couple months....  i got to the point where i plateaued and decided to try something diffrent.   my doc switched me to pristiq.   the pristiq i think is much better.  i just wish my doc told me about certain possible side effects of stopping paxil suddenly even with starting a diffrent medication...  i was getting muscle shocks in my head...  seratonin withdraws were the cause he says.   i had no idea what was going on and because i have a history of seizures when i was a child i was concerned so i went to the er.  they did some blood tests to find that my cpk levels were elevated- about 7k and liver enzymes as well...  we still are not sure if that has any relation to the medication and seratonin withdraws but they decided to admit me to the hospital for two days...   it was kinda scary cause they kept doing bloodwork to test my heart.  i still don't know what is going on- still waiting on test results.  bloodwork in the am hopefully will have some good results or at least some answers...  this is going to be the longest weekend ever...  im no longer getting the shocks but have had tenderness in my lower back and tightness in my chest somewhat.  in the last month ive gained 9 pounds.  kinda a lot in such a short time i think...

im at the point where i don't know what direction to take...   things were going so well for me until i was diagnosed with chronic hep b.  since then things seem to be falling apart.  i feel ive lost my motivation and drive for life.  trying to break out of this feeling is exhausting and consumes most of my energy.  what to do....