Journal

    My  Ethnics, My Code of Life is; equality, self injury and kindness. We need to

follow these because there is hope for a better life and maybe a better world. All crime

and threats could stop.


    Equality and non-discrimination, point blank it needs to stop. Threats have led to

self injury, suicides, and even homicides. I personally know of two suicides I had to go

through, it was hard on me, because the were close to my heart.. I miss them .The work

force has now started discriminating against weight , its truly ridiculous! Houses of

homosexuals have been burned down because of threats. Riots

started because of not truly having equality.


    Self-Injury, a touchy  topic. Though I’ve dealt with it before, I’m recovering.

Cutting, burning, drugs, alcohol, eating disorders and sex just to name a few . When I was

nine I became bulimic. That wasn’t enough to kill my pain so I began cutting. The first

cut was the beginning to a road of tears.  As life went on hiding in the shadows I was

faced with the worst of all hurts. I was only a baby! I was raped twice when I

was thirteen. I’m recovering from that dark past too, but listen to my people! There’s

hope! I’ve refrained from self harm since I was sixteen and a half. I started writing poetry

as a outlet when I was in 6th grade and I still do. I feel that my paper is my skin and my

ink in my blood and my words are my tears.


    
    Kindness and acceptance, something  everyone need to grow into.  The main

reason why I stopped and I am still living is by the grace of God and because of my

boyfriend Damian. He showed me acceptance and that there’s meaning in life, he makes

me live. Once he gained my trust, listened to my story, and cried with and for me. Damian

with his kind words and love for me and poetry gave me hope, reason and life. On the

other hand  my poetry related to him and let him relate more to me and my pain. My

poetry gave him a meaning for his life. Little did we know that our past were parallel, he

and I traveled in the same path. So in retrospect we saved each other from suicide. He

showed me he cared, that I’m loved, that I’m wanted , that I have worth.


    So simply listen to you heart. It’ll tell you what to do. And those who self harm in

anyway if you think “no one understands”  know in each pill, each swallow,  each puff,

each purge and each cut…someone understands, someone has the same story, someone

knows your tears and if you cant find that someone know this, I’m here with all my

healing cuts and open arms!