arienette's Journal

Hey all.

I went to my psych in August before we left for a week in Spain. We discontinued the Lexxapro because I honestly believe it was making me feel worse (or doing nothing) like I had been warned about. We decided to try to simply up my dose of Cymbalta for now and see if that makes anything change. He game me Xanax (20 pills) for the airplane rides to spain and back and that prescription was supposed to last but i, of course, finished all of them up within 10 days. ugh.

In addition I told my psych that the concerta wasnt doing much so he switched me from a methylphenidate (ritalin) based drug to a ampethamine (adderall  family) based drug.

The problem is he started me which this Vyvanse. Its bad because if you open the capsules they arent little balls, its powder. White, pure, powder. So my addition is even easier now in a sense. But my doc doesnt know about it so its not his fault. In addition, vyvanse lasts like 12 hours which just ISNT okay for a college kid. Why? Because I have classes all over the place plus a job plus a bit of a social life...I need to have my meds limited to more of a 6 hour or 8 hour duration...so I can take a nap after classes.

Ideally, non-time release pills would be best for me but I have my snorting problem so I need something that i'm less likely to snort. I am gonna try in a week or so get time realse adderall which I think is ideal although i'm sure i'll take too many and not have any at the end of the month, at least I won't be snorting stuff much. Having a non drippy/stuffy nose the last month or two has been awesome. Its so much easier. During sex/kissing I can actually breathe! I dont need 100 tissues in class, etc.

Plus my head doesnt hurt as much. The snorting needs to end. It did, and its not as often/bad with the vyvanse but its been happening.

If he doesnt prescribe adderall or i try it and it doesnt work out for whatever reason, I will go back to conerta cos that is impossible to snort.

One more report, I have gained like 15 pounds since july and although I ate alot while i was at my summmer house in new england, I have to attribute much of the weight gain to BEER. It is the best alcohol. I dont get smashed or black out, it tastes so good, and never do I have a hang over, and I hardly do truly embarassing things. Sadly, beer makes you fat. Especially when you drink/ / need more and more of it. So ive been trying to switch to wine and hard alcohol / mixed drinks. But they give me terrible hangovers, make me black out sometimes, make me do really stupid things..etc.

plus they dont TASTE so good like beer does.

ugh.

<3<3

p.s. started classes...wish me luck on "turning over a new leaf" and actually going to classes more often and getting decent grades...