Abotsd's Journal

such a hard class today. had to sit down for part of the standing part. no balance. actually doing a bit better standing on one leg. like i need this. didn't see old friends. saw new ones. worked up a big sweat. came home and feel like hell. think the rain is coming. clouds appearing. took a zanex. tires me too much. .25. learned about emotional hangovers. never knew there was a name for it. neighbor ann drove over again, yesterday. was watching biography of the nazi hunter. didn't want to miss the end. brain all blurry today. didn't need another visit. she's so proud she can find the house i think, so she just comes over. i care about her so i welcome her. but it is intrusive. will have to handle this if it continues.

son leaving for points east tomorrow. going with other musicians. makes me feel he's safer. what a way to live? and i had wanted to study philosophy in switzerland, was accepted at the albert Schweitzer college. folks said it's too far away. no go. would have been good to find similar school in u.s.a. no one helped me or counselled me to do this. so just went anywhere. wrong school. too big and confusing. always lost.

now son wants me to write stories about him and my life,etc. now that i can barely put two words together right. that's the xanex. back to bed. used mask well last night. both times. woke up rested. mazel-tov to me.