How do I update my goal?
October 29, 2008 2:05pm
fruitcup
9:16pm, May 24, 2009
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About Me
fruitcup
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About Me
I was diagnosed with atypical depression in 1981, a year afer my father died. I have been on Nardil -- a MAO inhibitor for 27 years --I have only tolerated it because it has proven to be the only drug that works for me...albeit maybe 80%. I live with the curse of clinical depression every day, and know there's a genetic element to it, but I frequently say, "Why me?" But worse is that it rears its ugly head severely sometimes, and I become immobilized and can't get anything done, so my house is a mess, my mind is a mess, and my memory gets bad. I can't even concentrate on work, and I am a freelancer. I have no one to fall back on . Help!
I was diagnosed with atypical depression in 1981, a year afer my father died. I have been on Nardil -- a MAO inhibitor for 27 years --I have only tolerated it because it has proven to be the only drug that works for me...albeit maybe 80%. I live with the curse of clinical depression every day, and know there's a genetic element to it, but I frequently say, "Why me?" But worse is that it rears its ugly head severely sometimes, and I become immobilized and can't get anything done, so my house is a
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Interests
Writing, photography, music, playing with my dogs and taking her to play with other dogs, shopping (when I have money), trying to get things organized, trying to make new friends
Writing, photography, music, playing with my dogs and taking her to play with other dogs, shopping (when
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Journal
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Lost the job I had for 4 or 5 weeks, but not surprised
October 29, 2008 2:03pm
Well, I knew going in that I was underqualified for the job, but they liked me so much and for some reason offered it to me. I should have written …
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for April 22, 2007
April 22, 2007 5:02pm
I've been forgetting a lot and losing things in the past six months or so. I only buy cheap sunglasses and reading glasses, but now I can't find any! …
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Hugbook
Ray of Sunshine
How are you doing?? Thinking of you!
xoxox-
Hug
I saw your post in the depression board and just wanted to say that you are not alone in how you feel.
I could relate to your post almost as if I'd written some of it.
I am recently single, two kids, no job and terrified of what is going to happen. I also am starting to believe I have treatment resistant depression as well. My pdoc is going to switch my meds in a few weeks yet again.
Hug
Snowman
Hi, I saw you replied to my post of HOPE - I really was being sarcastic - I have not hope - I am at a job where the woman I work for treats everyone like there a piece of crap. I wish I could just quit - but need the money. I hope you feel alittle better - please keep in touch, lee.
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Little Love
Hope you enjoy the Holiday, for me it's just a day off. Just lay around, no place to go- I am happy!!me and my dogs. Regards, Lee
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
I had my first panic attack in 1978 when my vacation to Acapulco coincided with a new doctor (not a psychiatrist) told me I may have a brain tumor! Without explaining that if I had it, it would be pefectly benign and operable, I left for my trip and had my first panic attack; couldn't breathe, felt like I was choking; was dizzy; and afraid I would die. Well, 25+ years later, I'm still here. In 1981 I saw a psychopharmacologist (a psychiatrist who specializes in psychoactive drugs...
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- Helped my daytime anxiety to subside and take "edge" off, but not cure-all for attacks or depression because it's only an anti-anxiety drug
- Breathwork Not Working
- Made me MORE anxious. Couldn't take a deep breath without coughing.
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- Only use to help me et to sleep at night, as antidepressant has side effect of stimulating me...except during the day, when it makes me sleepy!
- MAOIs Working / Worked
- MAO inhibitor, works on serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine. Old drug w/many possible drug interactions, foods you can't eat
- Lamictal Working / Worked
- Mood stabilize added to Nardil. Did not help.
- Depakote Working / Worked
- Mood stabilizer added to Nardil. Did not help.
- Trileptal Working / Worked
- Mood stabilizer, tiny dosage. May help hypomanic state sometmies.
- Parnate Working / Worked
- Another MAO inhibitor. Attaches to adrenaline. Made me feel like I had ants crawling under my skin. Took a few days to go away. Terrible.
- Prozac Not Working
- Went very high on dosage but I still could only lie in bed and stare at ceiling, eating only white food (bread, ice cream) because I was nauseous all the time.
Close Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female
Type: Genital HerpesBoy, do I understand you. I got herpes 29 years ago when I was 19. I'd never heard of it. Was on vacation in Puerto Rico and met a gorgeous soap opera star who swept me off my feet. I have frequent outbreaks, from eating too much sugar or from having intercourse alone! Tried every med and none prevents outbreaks. I've told fewer guys than I should have but felt I protected them by insisting on condoms. Herpes has killed my self-esteem, and 'tho I hear EVERYONE has it, I still feel like a leper.
Treatments
- Valtrex Somewhat Helpful
- But not helpful enough to warrant putting a drug into my system. Probably need higher dose than allowed.
- Zithromax Not Working
- Nada.
- Zovirax Somewhat Helpful
- The topical kind, gives me some relief. The oral kind, didn't do much.
- L-Lysine Working / Worked
- Helps a lot, but not fully. IF I take 1000 mg daily and don't ever forget, it prevents a "few" outbreaks. Definitely worth taking.
- Zovirax Not Working
- Nada.
Open Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
Started periods at age 9--now 51--diagnosed w/PCOS at 40 after years of periods up to 78 days and GYN putting me on fertility drugs to ovulate. The way for diagnosis is by transvaginal sonogram (ultrasound). If PCOS, 1 or both ovaries will not be normal shape. Cysts around border of each ovary (not same as 1 ovarian cyst). GYN will check blood for various hormones.This is only way u can know for sure if you have PCOS. YOU ARE THE CONSUMER. Nurse may take vital signs. but that's IT.
Treatments
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionBeen on Nardil (MAO inhibitor) for over 20 years. Still depressed. Nothing will help me. I feel like hopeless; can't keep a f/t job; need more freelance work. Feel all alone in the world.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Great when I had a good therapist. The one I have now is excellent, but once a week isn't enough.
- Nardil Working / Worked
- Works 6570 of the time. Puts lots of weight on. Been on this for over 25 years. Other meds dont work at all and I have serious dietary and other drug restrictions or I can have a hypertensive crisis. Ive only had three in 25 years so I guess Im lucky.
Open Insomnia
Treatments
- Ambien Somewhat Helpful
- But after a pretty long period of time, I began to experience what my doc called "disinhibition." I would go for a walk at 3 am and buy frozen yogurt, eat the contents of my refrigerator, clean. I had perfect recall of having done this, but put my life at risk by going out so early in the morning, By the way, this was way before the CR version came out. Oh, also, I'd get a phone call and fell into a twilight sleep, and starting talking jibberish, or just fell asleep while talking.
