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Rmurphy 
hey guys today has been somewhat good and somewhat bad.
I have gained about 12 lbs and I am not happy at all with it. I wish I could cud my fat off or get it sucked out of my tummy.LOL dont we all??
Well today I havee done really good on eating and I have come up with a plan to lose weight by christmas. I am disgusting right now and I need to lose 14 lbs by christmas and then I will only be 12 lbs away from my goal weight :).
Well anyway I have been eating low cal foods and drinking tea and water and my mom comes home and the decide to fucking make porkchops and macaroni and cheese. I was going to just eat a pork chop to make them happy but my mom got a phone call from a friend of the family and I overheard her talking about my most recent suicide attempt. It really upset me because I dont want everyone and their mom to know all this stuff about me.
I mean the people that I want to know I will tell ya know?
Well anyway after that I was just like Im not eating and my parents got so upset. Although they dont realize I used that as an excuse to not eat. Because I have a goal and I hate being and feeling the way I am right now.
I sound pretty messed up right?
Well docs dont think I have a secere prblem cuz I am borderline "good" weight!
But whatever anyway just wanted to vent a little!!
I have gained about 12 lbs and I am not happy at all with it. I wish I could cud my fat off or get it sucked out of my tummy.LOL dont we all??
Well today I havee done really good on eating and I have come up with a plan to lose weight by christmas. I am disgusting right now and I need to lose 14 lbs by christmas and then I will only be 12 lbs away from my goal weight :).
Well anyway I have been eating low cal foods and drinking tea and water and my mom comes home and the decide to fucking make porkchops and macaroni and cheese. I was going to just eat a pork chop to make them happy but my mom got a phone call from a friend of the family and I overheard her talking about my most recent suicide attempt. It really upset me because I dont want everyone and their mom to know all this stuff about me.
I mean the people that I want to know I will tell ya know?
Well anyway after that I was just like Im not eating and my parents got so upset. Although they dont realize I used that as an excuse to not eat. Because I have a goal and I hate being and feeling the way I am right now.
I sound pretty messed up right?
Well docs dont think I have a secere prblem cuz I am borderline "good" weight!
But whatever anyway just wanted to vent a little!!
well this is my first entry on here so I better make it a good one huh? LOL
Well today was actually an ok day but I am living with my sister now and I just feel like a fucking child!!!
I dont get it... I have an eating disorder and yes I did drop a lot of weight but let me do it on my own ya know?
I have gained almost 10 lbs in a fucking month. My fam. might be happy that I have gained weight but i'm NOT I am miserable!I feel like such a fat ass!!!!
Will it ever go away? will anyone actuially help me the way I need?
My fam feels as thouhg I make stuff up but whatever they just dont get me or understand me!!!!
Anyway beside that I am talking to a new guy, he is a lot younger than me but I really like him. He makes me feel beautiful and special!!!
well this is all for tonight more will be on the next few days.... message me I would love to meet new people especially people i can connect with!
Be strong my fellow ana/mis girls!
Well today was actually an ok day but I am living with my sister now and I just feel like a fucking child!!!
I dont get it... I have an eating disorder and yes I did drop a lot of weight but let me do it on my own ya know?
I have gained almost 10 lbs in a fucking month. My fam. might be happy that I have gained weight but i'm NOT I am miserable!I feel like such a fat ass!!!!
Will it ever go away? will anyone actuially help me the way I need?
My fam feels as thouhg I make stuff up but whatever they just dont get me or understand me!!!!
Anyway beside that I am talking to a new guy, he is a lot younger than me but I really like him. He makes me feel beautiful and special!!!
well this is all for tonight more will be on the next few days.... message me I would love to meet new people especially people i can connect with!
Be strong my fellow ana/mis girls!
Comments
hi im megan i can understand where your comin from i woz in foster care when i developed anorexia and i got hospitalized and all they kept saying woz how much i woz hurting them and that i needed to put on weight. they didnt care how i was feeling all they wanted woz me to gain weight that made me worse because i felt so alone and depressed all the time that in the end i ended up in hospital again they have now started to understand that they cannot change the way i feel and them giving me shit all the time doesnt help it makes it worse so now they keep their opinions to themselves coz my therapist talked to them but know i feel so distant from them and i cant control my weight know more in my mind nomatter how long i dont eat for i just keep getting bigger ad bigger take care and keep me posted im always here for you!
megan
I HATE it when others don't seem to understand what a struggle we go through......
stay strong girl! can't wait to chat!!
let_it_shine
I HATE it when others don't seem to understand what a struggle we go through......
stay strong girl! can't wait to chat!!
let_it_shine
thanks guys I really appreciate the support!!!
Stay strong....
Rmurphy