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caretakerofthefallen 
4:50pm, November 16, 2009
Death's sweet coo
By Andrew M. Z(the fallen protector)
Demons call and i listen, angels fall and cry i shall listen for the fallen i live yet the darkness always surrounds me yet who am i to argue when my black angel wings are torn and shread for i protect all those who ask yet darkeness overwelms only those who allow it yet i am the light in the darkness fallen protector damned always to try and try to protect yet never succeeding death coo's yet who shall answer? "come to me"death coos again yet shall i answer is my choice so scared i freeze unwanting to know my fate- End 7/7/09 4:49PM (ohio time)
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well im still not doing as well as i wish i was.. i may be moving to arkinsaw (fingers crossed) im going with a friend that i know that lives down there hes around 24 and hes gay and hes gonna live with his bf and they are saving enough money to rent a place and im gonna go down and tr to find work and help them out and they are going to have another friend come down with us i acctully am the fouth wheel(third wheel hahah) so i feel realy not worthy to go and all that but they are gonna take care of me best they can when im down there and they have talked to me alot lately and helped me try not to cut its worked kinda but ... im not there so sometimes it just depresses me my friends bf acctully is getting attached to me and my friend is already attached to their other friend but my friend and his bf are still dating and its an open relationship to a point...and so im probly gonna have sex with all three of them .. i dont mind and they are gonna spoil the hell out of me on how they are saying my friends bf is in the army and acctuly is a music teacher (teaching piano to some students) so he gets money that way along with school...im so axious at the latest im going to be down there by october at the earliest some time in the next 3weeks! god im so pumped to do this but oh so terrified i hope with all my heart i dont get fucked over and just thrown out on the streets OMG its my biggest fear id rather do suicide at this rate than have that happen !!!!!!!*hugs to all*caretaker out (btw if u read this PLEASE reply or contact me in some way so i can talk to u about ur opinion on the whole thing)
UPDATED GOALS
dont cut for 3months
Progress 0%
Encouragements: 0
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let go of memories
Progress 75%
Encouragements: 0
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let go of the sorrow and
Progress 60%
Encouragements: 0
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find my true love
Progress 50%
Encouragements: 1
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Comments
*hugs*...just getting around to read the posts.
I'm glad you're able to move out and move in with friends. It does seem a bit odd to me the relation amongst the three (or four?) of you. I think u might have to clarify it because I'm confuzzled. o.0
I think it'll be great to leave your hometown to a new place. start fresh and all that. It also helps a person sometimes to attempt to leave their past behind. I hope all works out. Well, you better hold out then at least for the 3 weeks. it'll be great.
I'm proud of your progress. keep it up. oh and one more thing... *hugs* :) just because i haven't given enough yet to compensate for the past 3 weeks of no communication.
KSup