caretakerofthefallen's Journal

im in youngstown after my moms wedding yesterday god i want to die graduation was tuesday 2 numb to talk bout it anymore it was crappy at the end (guess im talking bout it) my mom was there till the end when her bf's sugars went down after i got my diploma and all that sighs she went to the car apparently he was being mean god i want to die sighs anyways and i didnt see her when i walked and when i got pics with my dad sister other sister and dads gf and my teachers so im like D: and all that when everyone went back to car my mom came by me and my dad my dad took pics made her semi ok ..made me suicidal cuz her bf was being an ass well i go to my dads gf whos at their car and shes freaking saying'if your father wants his fucking family he can have his fucking family.' and of course i try to calm her down it upsets me then me, and my mom, sisters and rich(moms bf at time ) go home i go to basement exausted -had long day saw wesly misses him soo much (wants to cut badly)we had pizza and all that for dinner then i went downstairs again and had mental breakdown cuz i graduated and im getting older god its scaring me then i stay downstairs most of week yesterday my mom got married i gave her away (sighs)got bitched at by going down to youngstown to see my dads family cuz i been hiding from every one at home got here saw everyone already staying till the 5th but today my grandpa(who i came up with ) had chest pains and my uncle took him to hospital so im waiting and waiting and waiting they went like idk 6-7 pm and its 11pm im freaking i want to cut i want to die all together can someone kill me???????????????????///(got new friend from westly on wensday his mom had made him freak out and i couldnt help calm him down but all the other friends of his that i knew could and the new friend of his had calmed me down an all that idk soo going crazy)