kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep
November 2, 2009 11:54pm
grrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
im so fucking pissed im gonna try venting through poem cuz if i dont im probly gonna …
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caretakerofthefallen 
9:49pm
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About Me
caretakerofthefallen
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About Me
real name andrew zlenka old ds name firedeamon24, and thefallenprotector, i love drawing, wrighting, sleeping, helping people and i am going through a abused past and present both mental and physical, and im addicted to cutting and always depressed and i help people the best i can i dont see what people like in me but apprently i help alot and ive had alot of suicdal thoughts of late, i try to help others as much as i can w/o my friends i would be dead right now http://media.equalvision.com/evr089/audio/44_caliber_love_letter.mp3 Love u all
real name andrew zlenka old ds name firedeamon24, and thefallenprotector, i love drawing, wrighting, sleeping, helping people and i am going through a abused past and present both mental and physical, and im addicted to cutting and always depressed and i help people the best i can i dont see what people like in me but apprently i help alot and ive had alot of suicdal thoughts of late, i try to help others as much as i can w/o my friends i would be dead right now http://media.equalvision.com/evr089/audio/44_caliber_love_letter.mp3
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Interests
book, some movies, fully gay at the moment hopefully that doesnt change again, i have visions of some things that are to possibly come or has happened it scares me and now sometimes i can feel others pain that i help the physical pain becomes mine and it shows scars for a time then goes away, and i like , learning, wrighting stories, helping people, hiding, music, can talk to almost anyone about almost anything i think...and i hate making disions...and always looking for friends to talk to sigh idk always up for ideas *hugs to all*ask me more specific question if u want but yea
book, some movies, fully gay at the moment hopefully that doesnt change again, i have visions of some
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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8 group discussion posts, 3 hugs given, 3 hugs received, 2 journal posts, 1 journal comment
Yesterday
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caretakerofthefallen updated their status 9:49pm
tired…
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caretakerofthefallen changed their mood to Bad 9:49pm
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caretakerofthefallen updated their status 3:16pm
idk feeling like crap…
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caretakerofthefallen updated their status 1:24am
*hides*…
Thursday
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caretakerofthefallen gave Ced357 a hug 9:51pm
im not too too sure anymore....…
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Journal
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IDK im such a fucking dumb bastard :((
November 2, 2009 3:07pm
well ive screwed up once again ive called my mom a bitch while talking to a friend on accdent and got my fone taken away now i have to be realy …
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close my eyes and lay me to sleep
October 19, 2009 10:41pm
idk anymore im at my wits end my soul is always screaming in rage and sorrow atm y bother caring or wanting to keep strong idk sighs it fucking hurts …
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i feel like a monster!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUGWUmP3kPI
October 18, 2009 7:29pm
idfk i cut two days ago i helped pass out candy at the college for two hours then helped with an anamie cosplay b4 being securaty keeping the dance …
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Give caretakerofthefallen a hug
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Little Love
If you seek happiness, it will come to you. If you seek unhappiness it will come to you. Listen to the vibrations within your heart and not your mind. It is there where you will find faith and tranquility with those around you.
Prayer
Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses. ~Alphonse Karr
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Hug
merry xmas to you too
Sorry
I am sooooo sorry for not being around. I have so much work and stuff to do! I know I should've been there for you for the past few weeks, but its just been crazy. Its like the work load has been kicked up 5 notches over the past 3 weeks. *hugs* miss you very much. I never meant to neglect you.
Moment of Peace
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Photos
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Goals
View all completed Goals
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Support Groups
Close Gay & Lesbian Teens
if u ask i will or look on my profile for jist im more gay then bi right now so yea x.x
Close Self-Injury
i will tell people if they want to know not until x.x
Treatments
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
Open Family & Friends of Bipolar
caretakerofthefallen hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Loneliness
too long
Open Stuttering
i hate studdering ive done it all my life along with muttering v.v i hate it
Treatments
- Patience Somewhat Helpful
- depends if i lose my patience or not
Open Shyness
im shy once in a while and i am a coward also most of the time i can hide it and just keep going just sometimes it dont work
Treatments
- DailyStrength Not Working
- Self-esteem Somewhat Helpful
- Self-help Somewhat Helpful
Open Anxiety
ive had it for a while but panic attacks started in january 09 and it got worse and my anxiety is one thing i never can control
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Somewhat Helpful
- sometimes gets me worse then i was
- Hypnotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- i do my own hypnosis on myself and sometimes it helps
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- when i do it it calms my body for a little bit
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
im trying to cope with past mental abuse and physical abuse by my family and emotional abuse atm thankfully im not around my dad that gave me the physcical abuse sighs yea..
Treatments
- Art Somewhat Helpful
- it helps but i still feel the agony in my heart just not as much
- Leave Somewhat Helpful
- im still mentaly abused but thankfully not phshicly
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- depends on the day sigh or it makes it worse
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- doesnt realy ever work
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- not realy but yea..sometimes it does
Open Bipolar Disorder
from what my psychologist said i have all the simptoms of being bipolar execpt the severity i figured i might as well be idk i go through times where i want to cut or try to help others in a way where its dangerous..an abusive bipolar father and emotionaly abusive mother i think caused part of why im like this but i dont know the full reason why i am
