beckabicep

Close Breakups & Divorce

I am recently divorced women of a twelve year marriage. When I met my husband I was 23 and he was 27. He's about three inches taller than I am and when we met i was fit and he was slightly muscular. We both had good jobs and for the first 3 years we did great. Slowly from then and up to the fifth year of our marriage he quit his job and started doing on line jobs. I ended up taking a better paying job and another then finally got a good paying one that was very physical while he lazed around the house most of the time. Because of the fact that I had such a physical job and had no energy when I got home I started lifting weights. Slowly over the next few years my husbands laziness started to take a toll on his body. He became skinnier and skinnier, while I grew stronger and more muscular. Now I always looked at it as our love was unconditional. I had no ill feelings towards him even though he was barley clearing $90.00 a week most of the time leaving me to fit the bill for everything. Also I have to admit intimately I loved the fact of how much stronger I was growing with him it made our sex life more stimulating for both of us and I loved being in control. Slowly my control in bed with him started spilling over into our personal life. I didn't push him around I just mean he started looking more to me to solve problems that he used to just take charge in. I fixed things more around the house, was asked by him to do things he wasn't strong enough to do. I was really getting into it and loving it. Like anything that is too good to be true it didn't last. Slowly he began to be ashamed to be seen with me. He didn't want his friends to see me or talk to me much. He started to get aggravated at me more. I did my best to talk to him and tell him I loved him more than ever but it went south. Soon he would find anything to argue about and I was always wrong. The constant blaming me got the best of me and one day I told him if he didn't like being weaker than me he should start working out since he seems to have such a problem with it. He punched me right in the face! If I would have had time to think about it I just would have packed up my shit and left. It just happened so fast and I just reacted and I hit him back. The only thing is when he hit me it only bruised me, when I hit him I gave him a broken nose and a concussion. We decided to get a divorce. Now he has been emailing me and having other people email me that I'm a steroid freak. I have never used steroids and never will, further more I'm not that big he's just small now. Harassing me and even righting bitch or freak in my lawn in gasoline. I just want this to end and the cops can't seem to pin it on him. Do I deserve this? Did I really do that awfully bad as a wife? I feel like a monster and the thing is I still care about him it just really hurts and the worst part is I have a guy that is shorter than me and skinny that wants to date me. a year after my marriage, I am ready to move one but worry that he will get just as bitter. Not to mention I have my x clearly trying to tell everyone how much of a freak I am so much that I go to any restaurant or bar and people glare at me.Do I deserve this? Should women really not lift weights, is it a sin or something?Becka