Journal

     Sorry all for it being so very long since I have entered a journal update. Things have been pretty busiy here. I am no longer working part time. It got to be to stressful with people calling upset about how the company had tripled their interest rates and all. Just couldn't handle the pressures they were putting on me about selling things to people that coud not afford them nor want them. It was not supposed to be a sales job when I took it but it morphed into one. So I quit another job. Really hate not having the money to help out around here though.

     I had another heart cath. It didn't show anything new. However due to the time I had to lay without moving afterwards I developed a blood clot in my right leg. Fortunately it was a superficial one and not the deep vein one that can be very dangerous. Pretty much over that now.

     I have been working on updated contact lists for my High School Graduating class and my huge family. Coming together really well. Decided to expand it into a  Family Tree and more information about the class and what they are upto now.

     I have been watching you all and what you have sent me. I am trying to find the time to get back in here and keep closer tabs of what everyone is up to and how things are going for everyone. Seems I got kind of hooked on FaceBook and a couple of games on there lately.

     Well that is about it for now. Oh yeh, I also have had another MRI to check on my Adrenal tumor I have had for several years. Looks like it hasn't changed much yet. That is good. However they are doing more tests to see if it is still dormat.

More later as I find out more.

Everyone please be safe and take care of yourselves.

Brent

Please don't call me. I probably won't be able to talk anyhow. I am not going to do anything stupid. I can't. Debbie needs the insurance. I am sorry you have to read all of this but someone needs to know. Just don't tell anyone. I am sorry I am putting such a big burden on you. If you tell anyone then the insurance will not pay. I am hurting Debbie every day. I can see it in her eyes. She is under soooooo much stress having to take care of me. She worries so about the finanaces. I took over paying all the bills thinking that would help. I don't know that it has. She may just feel like she has no control now. She has as much pressure and stress at work as I do, probably more butg she is handling it. If I make her crack we are really in trouble. Without this extra income we will be just barely getting by. No hope of ever catching up. It is all my fault too. I am the one that has caused all the bills. My dumn decisions. Please don't say anything to Debbie it will just cause her more stress and might be the little extra that pushes her over. I am going to start cleaning up things a little at a time so she doesn't worry about it. Again I am so sorry I am dumping all of this on you. You are very strong and have always been a rock and been there for me whenever I needed you. You are the best. Just please do this for me too. I do have an appointment with the shrink at the VA May first. Maybe she will be able to change my meds or somthing. I just need to be able to deal with stress. I can't. I will never be able to help Debbie without being able to deal with stress. I am afraid by quiting this last job that they will not hire me for another and there just isn't anything else out there that I might be able to do. This is my real disability. I think you are the only one that really knows this. Most people just think I am leaching off of the government and my wife. I guess I am really.

Again I am sorry to put all this on you. I just wanted someone to know what is really going on. I am sorry you have to keep it to yourself but if you don't Debbie will really be screwed withou the insurance money.

Please don't worry I will probably be ok. I always have been. This will most likely pass like all the other times. I am not going to punch my own ticket. The insurance money is just to important.