cewidder's Journal

Matt and I are doing fine. In fact when I'm with him I'm less stresssed. Ive been having trouble sleeping. I think it''s due to my CP and Anxiety. Other than that I'm not going to give up despite the system. Theres been big glitches in my self det. I find that when I have an escape like I use to use my van but I dont have it anymore  I feel better. Not only physically but mentally and emotionally. I would like to say something to my groups. I know I havent beeen on in a while but ive been dealing with alot of stress and my fiance has been helping me get away from it all. We worry about eachother. When I hurt he hurts and vice versa. He suprised me today by coming down and sitting w/ me for a while and watched tv. he also suprised me by dancing with me last weekend, that was very special. He's the love of my life and he is very special to me. I want to do a suprise for him and get something back to him that he's been asking for awhile. I hate the fact that my hair turned black. He and I both want it back red. Thats what I want to do for him. If MAtt wasnt by my side rt now I think id go crazy. we support eachother. I didnt know when i camre up here today that I would feel extremely relaxed like I do rt now. Being in our little hide away I guess. Staff is with me typing this at the time. Ususally it's just me and Matt. My heart my rock my tuff guy my marine my partner for life my teddybear. I put this in lt green because its DX colors. Im his DX wife and hes My DX man. C+M M+C A+T T+A He is my stregnth sometimes I just look into those eyes and feel his stregnth coming to me. Theres this song that we always play its Jessica Sipson Angel and With you. And rt now with you is coming to my mind because I dont know its just how I feel about us. I can tell him anything. things I cant say to others. Ace is doin ok. He doesnt get along with Tiger. Tiger is hiding rt now. Anyway see you guys later.  Gotta Go