trvlerbill2's Journal

                                                  Ok. I made up my mind that for the first 30 days of my Quit I would not give any thought to what I ate - calories, nutrition value etc... I shoveled anything and everything into my pie hole. My attitude was that the Quit was the most important thing and if I packed on a few pounds no big deal. If it bothered me, I'd take care of it later. And that remains my attitude.

So day 31 arrived (my "later") 12 days ago (today being day #43) and I  was experiencing this bloating feeling and my ankles were swollen. Now the "bloating" had been going on for awhile (2 weeks) and I'd been taking some water pills (still no period, thank God), but they haven't worked much.

 And the swollen ankles,...er,.....freekin "CANKLES"....Whats up with dat? I have no medical conditions so I've chalked it up to withdrawal from one of the thousands of chemicals and toxins that are leaving my body now that I'm smoke free.

So, the wife says that shes ordering these pills and I've "just got to take them". A million dollars and 2 days later, UPS arrives with a package. She tells me that if I follow the directions and take "all the pills as directed", I'll be "a new man". Ok. I'll bite.

What I'm taking is an all natural "intestinal scrub" that will ...."purify and detox my body while regulating my digestion".  I wasn't real excited about it but the bottle does say,.........."works gently and won't disrupt your daily life".

BULLSHIT. OH MY GOSH........hey, like RIGHT NOW....pardon me while I make my umpteenth run to the toilet this morning...... 5 minutes later: (Bill walking s-l-o-w-l-y back to the computer desk, holding himself up by leaning against the furniture along the way) 

A friend sent me a link to a website where people give their experiences on different products. I read up on this product. 57people complained about it not working for them(out of the whole world).  I read the complaints and praises. This one lady wrote in that  she got rid of worms, snakes and various parasites......SAY WHAAAAAT? I haven't seen any snakes yet, but then again, I'm not paying real close attention either.

So let me get to the meat of my story here..... Yesterday marked day #3 that I'd been on the pills and  I've been within easy reach of a bathroom during days 1 & 2. Well, Saturday mornings I put in 4-5 hours at the plantation and there is nobody there. I'm talking, the mansion is locked and the nearest bathroom is in town 10 miles away. I think you can see where this is going........

I'm painting a beautiful ornate wrought iron gate out in front of the estate near the highway. Cars are slowing down to "ooooh and aaaaaah" at the place (it is VERY impressive). This is out in the country where folks wave and smile and  I'm doing both when IT HITS ME.....those "rumblings".

OH JESUS HELP ME.  I set down my paint can and attempted some sort of  "dignified hoof" across the manicured grounds while waving a cordial "goodbye" to the adoring minions  who have slowed on the highway. I knew IMMEDIATELY that there would be no driving into town to use the Chevron Station toilet.  What to do?.....Security cameras everywhere and the mansion and any outbuildings that might offer privacy, seemed  like miles away.

By now I'm not even half way across the grounds near any
"cover" and I begin to cramp up something horrible. Christ, I've got the beginings of a turtle-head poking out. Now I'm all doubled up -  it's like a horror movie. I'm already rehearsing my explanation to the owners as to why I'm on the security cameras taking a shit in front of the mansion......the pain is unbearable and THE NOISE......freekin rumblings in the stomach. At this point, I'm pretty much resolved to the fact that this is NOT going to turn out well.

To hell with my dignity. I begin this wild combination sprint, lope, hop and a "little girl like" skip, at about 90 mile an hour mind  you, towards the nearest out building. I tear around the cornor out of sight from the road and the mansion and HOPEFULLY any cameras. I  zipped out of the body suit -thank GOD I was wearing one -  kicked my work boots and socks off (didn't want to shit anything as I had 2 more hours to work and no change of clothes with me) all in just the nick of time. CRAPPED LIKE A PONY I'M TELLING YOU!!. Bare ass naked, hoping beyond hope that the security cameras don't make me. Or that nobody passes on the gravel road alongside the sugarcane field to my right .Or that the neighbor doesn't come in for a landing on his grass runway to my left. SO MANY VARIABLES. 

I'll be lucky if I don't have some "splainin to do".

Well, I'm on this stuff for  a total of 10 days. I have every confidence that I'll loose what little weight I've put on those first 30 days being smoke-free, by the end of the next 6 days. The bloating is better and my "cankels" have dissiapeard here on day #4. I should mention that I'm eating a good breakfast and a huge salad for dinner now. My only indulgence is "Licorice Bridge Mix" by Jelly Belly....it is GREAT. 

I thank God everyday that I'm working free of my nicotine addiction. You guys here on DS are a big help with all your support and encouragement.  I know one thing, and that is: I have got to keep laughing and by now you must know that I am a "humor whore" .........(sigh)..... Adjusting to life as a non-smoker does get easier as time passes. 

Learn what you can from my story and pitch the rest.......((GRIN))