chicadea's Journal

got booted from the hospital too early cause they needed the bed. kicked over to transitional housing for a few days (was supposed to be "about a week" but dh made it clear he was falling apart without me). furnace has gone out every day since i've been "home". i've been asleep for three days with a killer flu. when dh and i aren't fighting we're lamely "making up". i feel like i'm dying, inside and out. i'm running out of things to "live for". every "agency" passes the buck. i can't afford the "prescribed care" that i need. the house is a disaster but i don't have the energy to fix it up. at least dh doesn't seem to expect me to cook for him (i couldn't care less about eating). he just gets mcdonald's and sits on the couch smoking. (knock knock. you had a fucking heart attack last year asshole!)

my dog is the only one who shows me any tenderness without me literally having to beg for it.

now i lay me down to sleep i pray the lord my soul to keep and if i should die before i wake THANK YOU!