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Gemini613 
Okay - so I signed on tonight and realized my last post was quite the downer. Thought I should try and be a little more positive since i just posted about reconciling.
Things are up and down but what is different now is we both have skills to cope with it. We have learned to say 'I'm sorry' with sincerity and great frequency. Boy, does that make all the difference in the world (especially since he never said it pre-separation). Our counselor says that all couples have issues that they never resolve. So true....
On my good days, I've learned to smile and say to myself, 'That's just the way he is." I can now see that he resorts to the most irritating habits when he is stressed. So do I. Tonight, he was stressed (work), I was stressed (teenage son) and, of course, we clashed. It's inevitable but not fatal. I can see now that a lot of this was about me changing my thought processes. And about him changing the way he interacts with me. We both had to make great changes.
And yet, I'm still not ready to give up the bi-weekly counseling. I think of it as my lifeline.....
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The "I'm sorry" IS important. I was listening to an old friend complain about her husband a few months ago. She wanted to know what my Ex acted like in the months before he sprung everything on me and started to cheat. And I told her that one of the biggest changes he made that last year was to stop saying "I'm sorry" after he did something to upset me. He was so good about giving a sincere "I'm sorry" the first few years we were married, and at some point he stopped saying it. In retrospect, the "I'm sorrys" ARE so very important, kind of like a little closure for each tiny incident. Good for you for implementing that in your marriage! Make sure you keep doing it!
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