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saint 
I just don't want to think anymore. I have never felt so alone while being around people. I can't seem to get my mind straight. I can't even talk without crying. I thought my world was crazy before now it's really crazy. I keep seeing the worst senerio in my mind. I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be a burden. I don't want to have to be on insulin so I'm very carefully watching my diet and trying to get more exercise. The breast thing really has me freaked out of my mind. I don't know if I could face everything that would entail. Hopefully I can find some of the strength my mom had. Sorry to be so negative right now. Some times I wonder why all of this happens. There are no real answers. It's part of life. I know I will do what is right, and what ever I have to do to fight these things. I refuse to give up no matter how scared I may be. I'm not promised tomorrow so I will live for today and take the happiness I can find. The trees are blooming and the sunrise and sunsets are natures wonder. I will look for the beauty in my life.and find the jot aroud me. The smile on my grandchildren's faces, the hugs and kisses they give me. I will find the hope in my heart and help it grow.
Comments
Good for you! You're a very brave strong woman. I admire your fortitude. The breast thing is really scary. I know I would feel the same way you do. I hope I would be as couageous as you are. You're right to find joy in the simple pleasures of life and not let the pain overshadow all that you see and do. I think your family will understand that you're not superwoman and I hope they give you the support you so desperately need. HUG!!!
unique
Hi there. The grandkids are reasons enough to fight for your life and keep on living. I have 5 and I can tell you they are worth the fight. message me is you need to talk. I'm here, you're not alone. I start Chemo on Tuesday. ((((HUGS))))
Tweety1480
I have read your journal and the sad thing about my pain is that I always find someone who is hurting more. I am sorry for what you are going through. All I can really say is that you have come a long way and I hope you find the strength to hold on. Keep the faith and know you have friends here ready to listen and cry with you
lorab
I hope your day is positive and you're finding many joys and blessings in your life.
Tweety1480