Journal Entry for February 20, 2009
February 20, 2009 7:02pm
I am so lonely right now and I just wish someone would love me for me. I am so tired of people who follow the world's system of everybody …
ellen80 
12:09am, March 15, 2009
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About Me
ellen80
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Journal
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Trich update
January 16, 2009 1:06am
I haven't pulled my hair out since the middle of September! Most of my bald spots are filled in, even if it is with short, curly …
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Alone
October 11, 2008 5:38pm
Today I feel like the only person who knows or cares that I exist.
There was a festival downtown today that I wanted to go to but I …
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after church tonight...
August 16, 2008 8:24pm
I just got back from church and I was wondering where the line is between denying yourself instant gratification and becoming an embittered …
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Ambivalent mother bonding, power, CSP and trich
July 31, 2008 5:51pm
I did not personally start pulling out my hair until about 5 years ago, at the age of 23. I have been a skin picker since I was 10, though, and …
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Hugbook
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whats going on with you. I've been away from my computer for a while now, been working 3 jobs to try to pay off all my legal shit and get it out of the way, and going to L.A. for a few weeks at the end of the month. I gotta go sleep some, nice to hear from you, take care
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I’m With You
I feel lonely most of the time too and I don't like it either. I do everything you mentioned, especially watching too much dumb TV, surfing the internet and using email all day long and ignoring my phone. Now, I try to take a walk down the street at least once a day to get out of my apartment and isolation a bit and get some fresh air. I also will go to a store or two just to have some interaction with people. All of this helps me feel less alone. Ecca
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awwh,hello:) yes!sadly it does and i overdose on too many cups of tea! im new to this whole support group so im jus sayin hey. i can relate totally.sounds like my life these days! as for society,it so shallow it makes my toes curl!well sometimes.i am not always such a cynic!
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Hope all is well....looking forward to conversing w/ you
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Support Groups
Close Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Type: TrichotillomaniaI get zits on my scalp, then search endlessly for the hair that is "causing" the zit. It's about removing the blockage that is causing negative fluid/emotion from pooling up. Except I feel helpless to "unplug" my emotional blockages, therefore pulling hair is a symbolic sustitute.
Close Abstinence & Celibacy
I'm a 27 year old virgin. I believe sex before marriage is not how God meant it to be. I'm getting pretty stinkin' horny though!
Open Family Issues
My mother was very controlling when I was growing up. We were EXTREMELY close most of the time, with a few of her abusive rages mixed in. When the time came for me to separate and grow up, she resisted it, disparaged it, I felt guilty and controlled, and I haven't spoken to her in about 5 years. It is unreal the degree of ambivalence I feel towards her. Cozy memories combined with murderous rage.
Open Anxiety
Conciously, I'm not anxious at all, in fact I'm usually bored and lethargic. But I pull my hair out so obviously something's bothering me. Must be subconcious.
Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Acne
I have breakouts on my face, back, chest, upper arms, and upper thighs. I also compulsively pick at my skin so I have lots of scars. They're not real deep, more like little white dots. I'm very self-conscious about the zits on my back and the scars on my chest (breasts). I feel like no one would want to love me or touch me this way. But my face is really not that bad, so if anyone ever did decide to love me, I feel like I have a bad surprise waiting for them, and they deserve better.
Treatments
- Benzoyl Peroxide Working / Worked
- Proactiv Not Working
- Washing Working / Worked
Open Families & Friends Of Addicts
It seems as though all the men I fall for will never love me more than their alcohol/weed, etc. The place of solace they already have far exceeds whatever I could give them, and it's hard for me to believe in my own worth in the midst of being devalued by those I care for. They, of course, tell themselves they're not hurting anyone but themselves.
Treatments
- Celebrate Recovery Working / Worked
Open Breakups & Divorce
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Loneliness
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Healthy Sex
Not having any
Open Depression - Teen
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Female Sexual Issues
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Internet Addiction
Mere fact that I'm on here means I'm having a relapse!
Open Codependency
ellen80 hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
