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Laura20
2008, CA
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars!( author unknown)"
1:24pm, October 25, 2009
feeling scared Mood
Thursday, October 15, 2009 | A Frustrating story
Drs appt tomm. So far this week has sucked. Now feeling a little better. Just so damned afraid that my knee won't get any better.Sinus infections continues. Not tolerating antibiotics. Nausea, vomiting abd pain. have'nt had a good nights sleep in a long time. Tired of waking up in pain.My life for past 2 years reads like a soap opera. Even a soap opera would'nt be this bad. So yes i am having a feel sorry for me week. Wish I knew how to pull out of it. I just want my life back. To be able to walk normally again without the pain but I know next week I have to push it if I am going to get anywhere. I will put myself in pain/ agony to get better. I am just scared I won't get better. I want to go back to work again. I miss the people there but I am so far from being ready its pathatic. I have to return by Dec regardless or I am screwed. They won't pay their portion on med insurance then ($1100).I have way too much time & no energy. Too much time to think. I am trying to reminding myself that my husband survived the cancer, I did not die although I got close too many times. It really could be so much worse but when will it get just a little easier?

UPDATED GOALS

Be a happy person

Progress 0%

Encouragements: 5

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Comments

  1. rushfan74

    Hon, it does seem as if you are really having a steep climb out of the hole...so very, very sorry. I know so many there, right now, too...it isn't right!

    I did get some legit workathome job links on Clark Howard's show...if worse comes to worse, would you be interested? I'm looking them over, now. I'm just about feeling on my last breath in the job dept. Am convinced I can never go back to doing what I used to...yes, I have actually been taking your advice on my writing...but things have gotten on top of me, lately, just trying to get my health/unemployment act, together...I have the typical "frozen blank." On the plus side--hope this makes you laugh a little bit--I did run across some actual, legit PSO (Phone Sex Operator) sites; so, at the table, I informed my parents that I was going to apply! My dad didn't hear me, I think & my mom just gave me that great sidelong look like she always does, and said, "Are you applying, or just the cats?" We had a good laugh over that, but I got to thinking later: could I form a romantic comedy over what I learn as a PSO? What a laugh, right? I'd probably have a better chance as a Las Vegas Fan Dancer...still...it's got me thinking...

    Hon, hang in there...would a disjointed chapter of some more of my musings be of any interest to you? And, more importantly, how about that story concerning your experiences in all of this? I am eager to read it!


    rushfan74

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