Journal

Less than an hour ago before 6 am CST., I took Maribeth to her surgery.  They know the severity of the cancer.  THey say it's not "severe cancer that is spreading".  It simply is in certain areas, and they are going to find out today by BIOPSY where exactly the cancer is. 

When we went over to the hospital (it was between 10 - 20 miles away), Maribeth was saying she was having dreams of other people with cancer.   Then she says, "I feel like I'm being punished for something".  I thought so hard b/c she said the same thing earlier this week.  I can't say that I wish she would treat me better, becaue that will make her defensive.  & "treating me better" probably isn't the thing she should focus on now. She should focus on healing, and feel confident that things will be ok.  Her Dr  said that her cancer was caught early. 

If she says "Am I being punished" then maybe in a card for her, it's not about "punishment" it's about changing.  when a patient has a heart attack, sometimes they counsel them to enjoy the good things that happen everyday, enjoy them more.  & not get so upset at things that go wrong. 

She was told to go to the back, the Ambulatory Surgical Center.  I had a hard time finding it.  I thought I saw a sign that  said that, but I was wrong and she yelled at me.  Finally, this was the one time, I didn't get angry when she yelled at me.  I just kept trying to drive over to the Surgical CEnter and then I found it.  She had to say when she got to the entrance, "GET ME OUT OF THIS CAR!"

I parked the car and went in there.  She filled out papers after awhile she was told to come in for surgery preparation.  We kissed, and I left.

I could call Maribeth a fuckin idiot, but that would be really wrong.

So, Andy has this big project starting his 2nd quarter of school. His mom has been home w/ him  A LOT, AND I have been busting my ass to make some fuckin money.  SHe could have worked with him, because he has been out of school since FUCKING WEDNESDAY!!!   & I end up having him do 40% of his damn SCI project  on Sunday, b/c she's too stupid to help him w/ his Science project.

Here's the deal.  His SCI project is this.  If you heat water, what cup holds hot water better, styrofoam, paper, plastic or glass?  & what are the temperature statistics?

So Maribeth didn't do any helping at all w/ Andy until last night.  & she screwed up the measurements (b/c she was pissed off and in a bad mood) so that she told Andy to write down that after heating water for 1:30  the styrofoam cup gives the coldest reading. 

Yeah, right, how fuckin'  stupid is that?  Everyone knows that styrofoam holds heat in far better than paper or plastic cups.  DUHHH!

So, I had to spend over 12 fucking hours on this project, b/c she doesn't have him do enough schoolwork when I'm at work.

So, w/ very little money, I"m forced to go to Target and buy a decent cooking thermometer, buy photo paper to show the materials used in this experiment. 

& I spend all this time, when I could have relaxed, but noooooo. 

Why am I so unreasonable, why am I swearing so damn much?

Because this is the 2nd time he's fuckin put the Science project off until the last fucking moment!!!

THE PARENT THAT IS HOME THE MOST SHOULD HELP THE KIDS THE MOST IN THEIR SCHOOLWORK!!!! I am perfectly willing to help my son (as I DID TODAY) BUT DAMNIT SHE ISN'T DOING HER FUCKING PART. We worked for fuckin 12 hrs. today.  its BULLSHIT!!!!!

Thanks for laying a big fucking egg, MB!!

But it's mean to say that, & I didn't say that.  That's what this website is for.  I guess put the bitterness here and ask her tonight what kind of magic was in her nurse's fingers that would make a thermometer give the coldest fucking reading to a styrofoam cup.  (she ended up saying she may have been wrong but at least she had the "right idea".    "Ok, honey" I said in reply) 

In the upset feeling about Maribeth's 2 Surgeries (explained at ***bottom), I have pushing myself at work.  Things are more challenging and the main boss wants more information about car accident/other types of PI injuries, and the guy to do that for about 50 of the files is me. 

Yesterday:

eat decent breakfast, manically do work, try to get car ins. quotes b/c I want to save money somehow, SOME WAY!! 11am - 3:30 pmEat fruit for snacks, eat chicken & spend about 5 min  eating.

Don't eat again until 8:40 pm. 

Went to 8 parent-teacher conferences for all 3 kids.  The 2 kids had very good reports.  Andy's reports were sometimes really good (he has an excellent talent for Math and Art) and sometimes pretty rough "we give him so much time to get his work done (he has Asperger's/ADD and gets extra time)" said the Writing teacher.  It makes me feel that Andy is not doing assignments, forgetting assignments THAT HE GETS MORE TIME IN, UGH!!! More work when I get home.

But you know it's worth it b/c he has made that special connection w/ the art teacher. 

She looked into my eyes with her beautiful Irish face and said, "I understand Andy, I have an oldest son like him with the same mental problems.  He's a successful marketing rep at Church's chicken!  Andy will succeed if he makes enough allies!  She went on and said there are 4 8th grade girls that don't like Andy as a friend really.  But they look out after him and report to the Art teacher when kids have stolen Andy's art work and thrown it in the trash, when they stuck gum on his chair.  Those 4 girls are aware of Andy's problems and just want him to succeed w/o really being his friend.  & they dispise the brutes that give Andy crap. 

Get on scale this morning......... another 2 pounds lost.    Just worrying it, getting angry, toughing all this FUCKIN weight off.

________________________ 

***She is having a biopsy to see if the hysterectomy will take care of all the cancer.  If the biopsy shows much cancer, she'll need possibly chemo, radiation, cutting out ovaries.  But if the biopsy is what the Dr. expects, the 2nd surgery will be Dec.15 for hysterectomy.  If results are bad much more will be cut out of her.