kendray's Journal

I really did do a horriable thing to my sister. I have been dating her ex. I make all these excuses like they have not been together for over four years but the truth is that does not matter to her and she should have mattered to me more then my feelings for this guy. The truth is I am 29 single with 2 kids and my dream is to be married and have a house full of kids. I am never going to find anyone and that scares me. I have messed up my life and I am so sorry and now I do not know how to fix it. I want to be married so bad. I suppose I need to get over that but to be honest I do not know how. And now I am all alone, I have lost my family and I have to change churches because my family goes to my church and it is tiny and my sisters tend to talk a lot of crap. I really feel like I am floating in the middle of the sea all alnoe and I am not sure what to do. I really need a girlfriend who will love me in all my mess and be a support to me but I suppose that is a lot to ask and I really do not know where to find one. God please help me.