Journal Entry for November 15, 2009
November 15, 2009 9:59pm
Progress
69 %
princessbrat
8:23pm, November 15, 2009
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About Me
princessbrat
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About Me
im 36 yrs old, I think! i have 4 kids and my first grandson, whom is the newest reason to live. i am nothing like woman my age. my life is always changing. i was personal caregiver for 17 yrs for women that had special care for there illnesses. like FOP, and TYPE 2DIBetes, Brittlebone, ect. worked with each to the end. now im in some of the shoes i took care of. My kids have always kept me going since i was a CSD kid. whenever i want to give up i think of how that would affect my kids to live without a mom as i did that keeps me going. This is only thing possitive in this world.
im 36 yrs old, I think! i have 4 kids and my first grandson, whom is the newest reason to live. i am nothing like woman my age. my life is always changing. i was personal caregiver for 17 yrs for women that had special care for there illnesses. like FOP, and TYPE 2DIBetes, Brittlebone, ect. worked with each to the end. now im in some of the shoes i took care of. My kids have always kept me going since i was a CSD kid. whenever i want to give up i think of how that would affect my kids to live without
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Interests
~reading~music~my family, crafting when my hands let me.MOST OF ALL, trying to find peace inside of me and to learn to help each of my family find it too.
~reading~music~my family, crafting when my hands let me.MOST OF ALL, trying to find peace inside of me
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Recent Activity
November 15
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princessbrat wrote a journal entry updating 3 goals 9:59pm
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princessbrat posted a new photo 9:56pm
she addored my mother her aunt very much. was so good to feel her hug me.…
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princessbrat posted a new photo 9:56pm
shared memories of my mother 1 was close to her…
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princessbrat posted a new photo 9:56pm
they were great to hid behind shared memories of my mom also…
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princessbrat posted a new photo 9:56pm
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Journal
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to late to say goodbye
November 15, 2009 9:06pm
on october 31, 2009 I recieved a phone call my father was lifeflighted to a major hospital. after speaking almost every night to him for 2 weeks …
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Letting go of feelings of being a traitor
October 20, 2009 1:18pm
I had wondered this last yr if my real father was alive.
I had tried to look for him to find out.
This last week I got a phone call, it was him and …
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here
September 16, 2009 11:27am
I get so frustrated with them all.
why cant they make up there minds who they r to me?
why each yr do they sign a card diffrent to me.
why send me …
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Freedom Or Lonliness
September 9, 2009 1:36pm
Well The day has come.
I have my house back to quiet and empty.
Summer was full of suprises.
Frank was called to go back to work
Stormy is facing her …
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Hugbook
Rainbow
thank you so much for your message!!! I can not image what you have been going through..
Take Care,
Deb
Rainbow
Sometimes I think that I think to much about things I just can't change.
Hug
Hug
thanks for the gentlhug and your wise words in response to my post i really needed that
Hug
Well I am here if you want to talk about anything..
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Photos
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Goals
View all in progress Goals
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Support Groups
Close Adoption
@ 5 months old my real dad killed my mom and that was the start. 3 legal name changes and 2 adopted homes both takin away from. i was a csd kid from 5 months 2 15 yrs old. then i desided that was enough. 3 severe bad homes later and ony 1 good foster home. last adopted home i was 9yrs old. first week i knew if i stayed there i would die from abuse. took state till i was 15yrs old to remove me after i jumped out of 60 mile hor going car while being beat in the face by someone who said they loveme
Close Fibromyalgia
35 yrs old. diagnosed with fybromalgia. in so much pain and so frustrated. wondering if god made me why would he make my life with all i been through this way. also new first time grandma and hurts to hold my 7mnth old grandson. sooo frustrated and unable to work anymore so alone and scared!
Treatments
- Adderall Somewhat Helpful
- worked for almost 1 yr givin for my narcolepsy. able to work whole yr fulltime focus and deal with pain better most of time
- Aqua Therapy Working / Worked
- works as long as water hot enough but i ant live in the tub!!!!!
- Cyclobenzaprine Not Working
- sucks for m kicks in my narcolepsy nd cant even function, cry alot even in public and dont help the pain
- Heat Somewhat Helpful
- works for me long as its on and i on it but cant spend my life on a heating pad!!!!!
- Cymbalta Not Working
- I am taking Cymbalta and it is messing with my head really bad i think
- Neurontin Too Soon to Tell
- dr just ordered havnt got yet. will let results be known soon as i can
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
my Chronic PTSD was diagnosed earlyer in my life. alot of who i am and how i am is from my survival skills i learned as a child. i saw my mom killed 1st event. saw alot death and alot of diffrent homes i lived in were very bad and bad things do happen to little girls. my pstd affects me everyday but i try to remember could be worse
Treatments
- Art Not Working
- done used as child didnt work cant draw
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- works until mutiple problems come up. started as suvival skill when i was real young
- Cymbalta Not Working
- Cymbalta, seems to be messing with my head really badly! thoughts are changing and i think of things i used to be able to control and now cant seem to control
- Effexor Not Working
- made me very mean and violent
- EMDR Not Working
- really opened a can of worms on me.
- Guided Imagery Not Working
- sometimes it can work but in house full kids dont work often
- Music Working / Worked
- works sometimes if i can turn it up loud enough to get lost there
- Paxil Not Working
- made me very violent
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- worked for awhile when i was going but didnt solve alot of things upstairs in my head. cant stand the feeling someone lookin in my head(my fear of being crazy)
- Rape Counseling Not Working
- can of worms opened
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- depends on the book some make it worse and some help for little bit
- Running Not Working
- used to run but with the fybromyagia makes me worse the last 10 yrs
- Talking Working / Worked
- most of what i do to help but my bad choices in friends has led my to trying not to make friends last 4 yrs.
- Zoloft Not Working
- made me violent
Open Financial Challenges
cant work anymore. always worked since 15yrs old. fiantual security is big issuse with me. big trigger for my ptsd. not sure what i will do now.
Treatments
- Budgeting Working / Worked
- always worked for me before but now nothing left to cut off. even my boyfriend paying for this computer and web acssess
- Earn Money Not Working
- asked state for help they say 1 thing but do another
- Holding a Garage Sale Not Working
- been doing this alot just to survive last few weeks
Open Rape
private, but as i know people it may come easier to talk about
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- my counsoler knows i went through this many times but i wasnt at a point to talk about specifics with her and she said 1 yr ago it was better if i didnt at that time. now back in to see her a yr later, signed a plan to bandage those wounds i guess it will come out the wood work soon, scared but so far i know its time to trust someone.
- Talking Working / Worked
- helps to talk about it with people who dont know me, makes me feel safe when i know they wont hold it against me later.
Open Narcolepsy
@ 26yrs old after thinking for yrs I was crazy. My DR finally decided to test me for narcolepsy. 15yrs of him treating me for what he thought was deppresion problems. but on all the depresion medications he ordered made me worse, mean, violent, sick or suicidal. It was a long road for me to learn it was narcolepsy. And even then learning the truth didnt fix me. I have been through so many of the medications and like most narcoleptics, the meds only work for small time then you grow accustom.
Treatments
- Adderall Working / Worked
- works the best as long as you dobnt use everyday. for me
- Cylert Not Working
- made me ill
- Dexedrine Somewhat Helpful
- worked as long as you dont mind looking like a crack head @ least fo me.
- Provigil Not Working
- made me grind my teeth so bad. worked for 1 week then grew tolorance
- Ritalin Not Working
- made me not even be able to function or think.
Open Kidney Stones
kidney problems since 19yrs old
Treatments
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Not Working
- tried about all you can think of, from hospital stays to pic line left in my arm for months @ time
Open Parenting Teenagers (12-18)
I have 3 teens and a preteen. 1 is a 18yr old parent. Im having a hard time with him moving out on his own. My next in line is 16 hes hard to handle, just last night @ 2am had to pick him up from police. hes not a bad kid, just a kid trying to find his way- the next kids are both girls, and i know its gonna be even worse then the two before.
Treatments
- Patience Working / Worked
- i try to make sure im paitent and understanding. i want then to just be honest with me- so far this has worked with the boys
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- I currently go to counsoling, i talk to her about home issues, she says im doing fine with that as far as the kids. they all though could use some counsoling!
Open Bipolar Disorder
princessbrat hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Anxiety
I was diagnosised this month as haveing Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Problem is I also can not take any kind of antideppressent cause it works oppisite on me.
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Not Working
- Meditation Not Working
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- St. John\'s Wort Working / Worked
Open Personality Disorders
4 diffrent types found.
Open ADHD / ADD
diagnoised very young. but new diagnois says. cant rule out but cant diagnois due to life lived. combined type to be watched and reevaluaited later.
