RJE1987's Journal

I suppose this is the part of my life where everything is magically better. But the truth is murky. And that isn't the depression talking. The truth is, I honestly, do not know what my life is or where it is headed/

And some days that is fine, I suppose. But I hear things about people I knew in high school or people I've only just met, and they seemed to be getting on with their lives. Either they are getting married, degrees, or moving to other places. Me I'm still the person who hasn't gotten his license yet.

So I"m stuck in neutral. I live at home. I have a low-income job. I am not that old, but I feel older. Maybe that is the depression, I suppose. Not a bad thought actually. Depression does make it seem that things aren't worth living, and in a sense that does make me feel older.

The truth is:

1) I'm worried about being left behind.

2) I'm worried about money.

3) I'm worried about love and what I really want out of a relationship.

4) I'm worried about my parents dying.

5) I'm worried about the future.

The kicker is that even when I am done with all of these courses and degrees, I still won't have any clue with what to do for a career. I've spent so much time on "I could", instead of making foundations for some distant (yet, not really) future. So does that make me a failure?

I suppose...