Progress
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JesseMM 
5:40am, August 12, 2009
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About Me
JesseMM
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About Me
HI...WELL WHAT TO SAY..I AM A VET NURSE. MY PASSION IS ANIMALS. I CAN'T DO WHAT I LOVE THO..I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH SEVERE FIBROMYALGIA IN 2004, HAVE BEEN ON DISABILITY FOR THE LAST 5 YRS. I HATE FM, IT HAS ROBBED ME OF WHO I REALLY AM..I FEEL TRAPPED IN A BODY I DO NOT KNOW ANYMORE..I AM ALWAYS IN PAIN...THE PILLS HELP BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I HAVE ONE CHILD, MY DAUGHTER..SHE IS GORGEOUS, AND SHE IS MY ROCK..I LOVE HER MORE THAN LIFE. MY FAMILY AND I ARE VERY CLOSE. I LOVE TO BE IN-LOVE. I AM A ROADTRIP JUNKIE, I LOVE JUST PICKIN UP AND GOING ON A ROADTRIP...SEE WHERE THE ROAD TAKES ME. I LOVE TO WRITE SHORT STORIES..I MIGHT JUST WRITE A NOVEL ONE OF THESE YRS..CUZ I HAVE HAD A HELL OF A RIDE IN THIS LIFE OF MINE. I LOVE TO LISTEN TO PPL, HELP THEM, ETC. I AM A GIVER, NOT A TAKER..I LOVE TO GIVE. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU HAVE BUT WHO YOU ARE THAT COUNTS IN THIS WORLD SO I AM NOT MATERLISITC. I LOVE THE WATER..I CAN SWIM FOR HOURS, I AM LIKE A DOLPHIN IN THE WATER..JUST LOVE IT. ONE THING I DID IN MY LIFE WAS MARRY THE SAME MAN TWICE LMAO..DON'T ASK ME WHY..IT WAS HIS IDEA..ME AND MARRIAGE DO NOT AGREE..I AM A FREEBIRD..BUT IF I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP I AM VERY VERY LOYAL. ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA KNOW ABOUT ME..JUST ASK. PEACE JESSEOX
HI...WELL WHAT TO SAY..I AM A VET NURSE. MY PASSION IS ANIMALS. I CAN'T DO WHAT I LOVE THO..I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH SEVERE FIBROMYALGIA IN 2004, HAVE BEEN ON DISABILITY FOR THE LAST 5 YRS. I HATE FM, IT HAS ROBBED ME OF WHO I REALLY AM..I FEEL TRAPPED IN A BODY I DO NOT KNOW ANYMORE..I AM ALWAYS IN PAIN...THE PILLS HELP BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I HAVE ONE CHILD, MY DAUGHTER..SHE IS GORGEOUS, AND SHE IS MY ROCK..I LOVE HER MORE THAN LIFE. MY FAMILY AND I ARE VERY CLOSE. I LOVE TO BE IN-LOVE. I AM A ROADTRIP
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Interests
READING, WRITING, CAMPING, NASCAR, SWIMMING, ROADTRIPS, COLLECTING ANYTHING TO DO WITH MARILYN MONROE..HER AND I ARE ALOT ALIKE. I LOVE CHILLEN WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I LOVE MUSEUMS. I LOVE LOVE LOVE ANIMALS..THEY ARE MY PASSION. PEACE JESSEOX
READING, WRITING, CAMPING, NASCAR, SWIMMING, ROADTRIPS, COLLECTING ANYTHING TO DO WITH MARILYN MONROE..HER
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Journal
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Hugbook
Prayer
Oh honey I'm so sorry about your dad! I wish I could have gotten back to this site earlier. It must have been horrible for you. I hope your mom is doing better. After 54 years of marriage, it truly is hard to lose your other half. I'm married and I don't know what I'd do without David.
Take each day at a time. Sometimes all you can do is just breathe. Don't forget to take care of yourself because if you don't take care of yourself, how will you care for your loved ones?
You are forever in my prayers sweetie. If you need to talk, vent, etc you know where to find me. My other email address is krysta.farrell@ochealthcenter.com. It's my work email but don't be afraid to email me at that address. I check it at least once every hour when I'm at work.
All the time God is good and God is good all the time.
Love,
Krysta
Hug
Thinking of you....good luck....love you
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new journal and NEED comments badly, miss you lots jesse
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Hug
just wrote the most positive journal entry ever! you may want to check it out, if you do PLEASE comment on it!
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im just sooo afraid that he'll never come back jesse, he is my world and i am sooo worried i wnt get him back. I just wonder when and how
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Fibromyalgia
Well in 1995..I fell asleep at the wheel of my 79 chevy truck..and rolled about six times and landed upside down and was trapped from the waist down for over 2 hrs. I walked away with bruises...now 5 yrs ago I was diagnosed with FM...the worst case my doc has seen yup all 18 pressure points pain 24/7...I can't do what I love which is look after animals I am a Vet Nurse...I can't do much..I take 27 pills a day..its sickening. I am hopin to at least get normal soon!!! PEACE JESSEOX
Treatments
- Cyclobenzaprine Working / Worked
- I like this drug..it works...really well especially when I get a FM flair up..and also my tremors it helps with those.
- Effexor Working / Worked
- It just keeps me level..my rages I don't have those anymore. No side effects I like it.
- Heat Working / Worked
- I LOVE PUTTING HEAT ON MY ACHING BODY IT FEELS GREAT....I USE ALOT OF A535 ALSO...ACTUALLY IT SHOULD BE MY NEW PERFUME BY NOW..I ALWAYS SMELL LIKE IT...LOL!!!!
- Hydromorphone Working / Worked
- This drug so far I like the best...I take one in the morn and one at nite..12 hr release caps..18mg. The side effects are constipation with me..damn I hate that.
- Lyrica Not Working
- I hate this drug...it made me worse.
- Morphine Not Working
- I can't stand Morphine..it makes me feel numb..and anxious.
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
A MAN THAT I WAS LIVING WITH FOR SIX YRS VERBALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSED ME FOR MOST OF THOSE YRS..IF I TRIED TO LEAVE HE WOULD THREATEN TO KILL ANYONE THAT I LOVED..INCLUDING MY ANIMALS. I FINALLY FINALLY DID GET HIM TO MOVE OUT AND OUT OF MY LIFE ONLY TO HAVE HIM BREAK INTO MY HOME..HE RAPED ME, BEAT ME AND ROBBED ME...I THOUGHT I WAS GOIN TO DIE FOR SURE...I STILL DON'T REMEMBER HOW I GOT AWAY FROM HIM..!!!! JESSE
Treatments
- Clonazepam Working / Worked
- THIS DRUG IS REALLY GOOD..MY FAV..IT CALMS ME DOWN..AND I DON'T GET PANIC ATTACKS LIKE I USED TO!!!
- Effexor Working / Worked
- IT KEEPS MY MOODS LEVEL..I DON'T RAGE...AT ALL..AND I RARELY IF NEVER CUT ANYMORE!!!!
- Music Working / Worked
- MUSIC IS MY FAVORITE DRUG!!!!
- Rape Counseling Working / Worked
- I HAD COUNSELING FOR 2 YRS IT WAS GREAT...MY COUNSELOR IS ALSO A SURVIVOR OF RAPE!!!
- Reading Working / Worked
- I LOVE TO READ AS WELL AS WRITE...READING ABOUT SIMILAR STORIES HELPED!!!
- Talking Working / Worked
- I ATTENDED A MONTH LONG COURSE CALLED "WOMAN EMPOWERING GROUP" IT REALLY HELPS TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!
- Restoril Working / Worked
- WHEN I CANT SLEEP CUZ MY THOUGHTS ARE RACING AND I AM HAVING FLASHBACKS ETC...THIS DRUG HELPS ME FALL RIGHT TO SLEEP..I LOVE IT!!!
Open Rape
WELL AS IN MY STORY ABOVE, THE MAN I WAS WITH FOR SIX YRS..RAPED ME, BEAT ME AND ROBBED ME. I HAVE ALSO BEEN DATE RAPED SEVERAL TIMES.."NO" MEANS NOTHING TO SOME MEN. THIS SAME MAN WHO RAPED ME, BEAT ME..ALSO BEAT ME ONCE SO BAD THAT THE BABIES I WAS CARRYING (HIS) HAD TO BE SURGICALLY REMOVED FROM ME...HORRIFIC THATS ALL I CAN SAY!!! JESSEOX
Treatments
- Rape Counseling Working / Worked
- I WENT TO COUNSELING FOR 2 YRS..IT HELPED ME THE MOST..MY COUNSELOR WAS ALSO RAPED.
- Talking Working / Worked
- I ATTENDED MANY GROUPS FOR WOMAN EMPOWERMENT..IT HELPED ME ALOT.
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BPD IN MY EARLY 20'S. I HAD PANIC ATTACKS, I FELT UNREAL, I RAGED, I DID NOT LIKE GOING OUT IN THE PUBLIC..I FELT ALONE DIFFERENT, AND I HATE TO BE ALONE....SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM 2 PPL...IT BOTHERS ME...I CUT BECAUSE OF IT...AND BECAUSE OF MY OTHER AILMENTS...THE RAPE. I AM HOPING TO UNDERSTAND MORE ABOUT IT BEING ON HERE..AND IT HELPS TO HEAR ABOUT OTHER PPLS STORIES. PEACE JESSEOX
Treatments
- Clonazepam Working / Worked
- This drug calms me...!!!!
- Effexor Working / Worked
- Works wonders..I dont take it for depression..I am not a depressed person...it helps my rages..and cutting.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Lots of counseling...also I attended groups with other woman of Rape..and this disorder...it was great.
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I WENT THROUGH SIX YRS OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE WITH A MAN I DATED FOR 6 YRS...I STILL GET FLASHBACKS..AND MAYBE I CAN HELP OTHERS ON HERE. PEACE JESSEOX
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Working / Worked
- YES WORKED FANTASTIC!!!
- Forgiveness Working / Worked
- I HAD TO FORGIVE...BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET..!!!!
- Group Therapy Working / Worked
- GREAT GROUP OF WOMAN I MET..WAS EXCELLENT!!!
- Talking Working / Worked
- IT HAPPENED FROM FOR SIX YRS..AND STILL TO THIS DAY IT IS GOOD FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT IT.
- Effexor Working / Worked
- WORKS WONDERS!!!!
Open Migraine Headaches
I HAVE SUFFERED WITH MIGRAINE HEADACHES SINCE THE AGE OF 12...I GET THEM SO BAD THAT I BANG MY HEAD AND PULL AT MY HAIR..I FINALLY HAD A CT SCAN THIS YR....AND I WAS TOLD I HAD CLUSTER MIGRAINES THE WORST HEADACHE ON THIS EARTH. JESSEOX
Treatments
- Caffeine Working / Worked
- COFFEE DOES WORK FOR ME..IF I CATCH THE MIGRAINE RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING.
- Naproxen Working / Worked
- IT HELPS WITH A SLIGHT HEADACHE.
- Zomig Working / Worked
- THIS DRUG WORKED THE BEST FOR ME..IT WORKED IN A MATTER OF SECONDS..JUST BY PUTTING IT ON MY TONGUE..BUT BECAUSE I TAKE EFFEXOR I CAN'T TAKE ZOMIG ANYMORE.
Open Healthy Relationships
IM JUST WANTING TO TRY THIS GROUP OUT..TO SEE IF I WILL LEARN ANYTHING NEW..I AM JUST RECENTLY SINGLE..AND I DON'T WANT TO FALL INTO MY OLD HABITS AND CHOOSE ANOTHER GUY THAT NEEDS FIXING..ETC...I ALWAYS SEEM TO PICK MEN THAT ARE NO GOOD FOR ME. JESSEOX
Treatments
Open Self-Injury
WELL AFTER SIX YRS OF MENTAL AND VERBAL ABUSE AND THEN BEING RAPED AND BEATEN..SELF INJURY BECAME APART OF MY RELEASE...IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER...MORE ALIVE..INSTEAD OF DEAD INSIDE...PLUS SEEING ME BLEEDING WAS LIKE SEEING THE PAIN GO AWAY.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Working / Worked
- HELPED ALOT...HEARING OTHER PPL WITH SIMILAR STORIES HELPS.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- MY COUNSELOR REALLY REALLY HELPED ME..IT HELPS TO HAVE SOMEONE COUNSEL YOU THAT HAS BEEN THEIR THEMSELVES.
- Rubber Bands Working / Worked
- Tattoos Working / Worked
- YEAH I GOT ONE AND I WANT MORE...THEY DONT HURT THEY FEEL GREAT.
