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crazyj 
3:00pm, October 7, 2009
Ok, I'll put it like this:
I'm mad at my mom for using Lupron on me. It appearantly sterilized me.
I am upset at my fiancee for not agreeing on a place and date that he agreed on when we first decided to get married.
I am happy that I am alive and well.
I know it sounds wierd, but I have all these feelings. I wish I could kick my mom's butt for giving me Lupron, I wish I could kick my fiancee's butt and then kiss him for not sticking to the original agreement. I love both of these people, but they have held me back from my dreams. I so want to get pregnant, but can't, because of mom and dad. And I can't get married without Carlus, my fiancee. But over all of this, I know that I am alive, I know that I will survive, and I know that whatever hits me, I know I wil survive.
It's rambling, but in a inspirational sense. I just turned 24, and I so want a baby in my arms. I was looking on adoption.com and I saw these 2 brothers, one who is 2, and one who is 18 months. I want to take them into my home. The 2 year old has some physical disabilities that I wouldn't mind helping him with, because Carlus has some physical disabilities.
