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sheryl1953 
today is valentine day. i'm so upset, neither of my son's sent me a card. I know they are old enough to remember. Les and I saved every card we ever gave each other and all the ones from the kids. I can't look at them, its so painful. I can't even go to the cemetary, I went to sleep crying and woke up crying. I am so lonely. 'the volunteer job turned out to be the cleaning slave to a very messy unorganized women.I was going in 4 times a week but not on friday, monday morning what a mess. food and junk all over every flat surface.When she showed me the BACK ROOM I almost threw up. old used comodes shower chairs and things like that. I told her I would not be volunteering any more because of the lack of maintaining what I worked so hard to organize. I would come home and throw my clothes in the wash. The place was just soooooo dirty. anyway I do find writing things down helps but it still is so painful. I wish it would subside a little.
well the new year has begun. I declined all 2 invites to party. the stillness is still overwhelming, and the silence of a house once filled with all types of commings and goings is horrible. seth saw is grandparents during the holiday and there was no gift for his brother. i guess they have cut him out. he is actually glad he no longer has to pretend to to like them. he knows what garabage they are and i wish them well. i know they will live a long time because its in their genes and god doesn't want them. I am glad all necessary paper work is complete and this will be so easy for the boys all filed and labeled. No need to call an attorney. I am so sad all the time. even when i voluntere at the food bank i think of les all the time. what should have been and now will never be. I'm so tired of crying all the time. Its been 2 years and the tears still flow all the time. just feeling a little bliue tonight. lets see what the morning brings
the loneliness is all consuming.the kids call everyday and i love hearing from them. but what do i tell them how my day is. I ask of their day and their work and thank goodness i am still part of their lives. i wish the saddness would lighten i get dressed everyday and go out with out any direction, there is nothing to buy or do. so by noon im home again playing on the computer of watiching tv.tried to get a volunteer position but everyone is full with people. tis the season, goodbye
Past Entries
| November 2009 |
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Wednesday, 11/04
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October 2009 |
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Thursday, 10/15
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September 2009 |
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Sunday, 9/20
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August 2009 |
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Friday, 8/21
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Thursday, 8/13
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Wednesday, 8/05
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July 2009 |
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Friday, 7/03
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June 2009 |
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Monday, 6/08
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May 2009 |
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Friday, 5/22
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Friday, 5/08
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Monday, 5/04
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April 2009 |
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Wednesday, 4/22
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March 2009 |
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Saturday, 3/14
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February 2009 |
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Sunday, 2/15
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Friday, 2/06
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January 2009 |
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Thursday, 1/22
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Sunday, 1/18
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Wednesday, 1/14
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Tuesday, 1/13
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Wednesday, 1/07
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December 2008 |
Saturday, 12/27
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Thursday, 12/18
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Saturday, 12/13
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Saturday, 12/13
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Monday, 12/08
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Tuesday, 12/02
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November 2008 |
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Tuesday, 11/18
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Monday, 11/10
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Saturday, 11/08
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Thursday, 11/06
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Monday, 11/03
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October 2008 |
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Friday, 10/31
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Tuesday, 10/28
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Saturday, 10/25
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Thursday, 10/23
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Monday, 10/20
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Saturday, 10/18
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Tuesday, 10/14
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Monday, 10/13
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Friday, 10/10
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Tuesday, 10/07
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Monday, 10/06
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Wednesday, 10/01
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September 2008 |
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Friday, 9/26
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July 2008 |
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Monday, 7/07
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