Giving Thanks
November 22, 2008 5:12pm
Dear Joel,
As Thanksgiving appproaches, I had to remind myself of what I had to be Thankful for.............
I Thank God for allowing me …
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lisajoelsmom 
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About Me
lisajoelsmom
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About Me
My name is Lisa, I work as a Registered Nurse. I have one child living, her name is Jackie and she is 8 years old Jackie means everything to me... I lost my oldest child, Joel, in December of 06, he was 30 years old, and part of my life died as well. We miss him sadly, we still cry daily, and now can only visit with him at his grave site, I need some caring friends and comfort.
My name is Lisa, I work as a Registered Nurse. I have one child living, her name is Jackie and she is 8 years old Jackie means everything to me... I lost my oldest child, Joel, in December of 06, he was 30 years old, and part of my life died as well. We miss him sadly, we still cry daily, and now can only visit with him at his grave site, I need some caring friends and comfort.
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Still missing you
November 18, 2008 10:46am
; Dear Joel,
I know it has been a long time since I have wrote, but everytime I started to write for some reason I just couldn't. I have finally realized you are not ever coming home and God will not let me leave to be with you just yet. But a day will come when my name like yours is called, I can't wait to see you my son, will you remember me or know who I am? Will you look the same, will I look the same to you? I miss you so very much... words could never express the heartache and sadness since you went away. Everyone says you are in a better place, but I am selfish I wanted you here with me forever, but since, I have realized nothing is forever and never was as I once thought. I am so lonely, I have Jackie (your sister) but our little family is not the same without you. Your baby boy looks so much like you, he reminds me of you, but he is not you, I try not to compare, however he is hyperactive just as you were at that same age (11). He has the girls chasing him, he is so handsome, and like you when he comes over he sprays Bill's Polo all over himself he thinks of it as a "chick magnet". He even asked your sister to go to a dance with him if this one little girl he likes says no. Jackie says,
"Brendon, I am your aunt, and you don't take your aunt to a dance, and besides I am only 10 years old and mama won't let me date until I am what she calls "middle aged." LOL They fight like cats and dogs, but love each other, Brendon always takes up for Jackie, he punched a little boy on the playground because he pushed Jackie, when I told him that was not the right thing to do he replied, "he'd do it again" "because nobodys' gonna hurt aunt Jackie as long as he is around. Kids???
Brian say Dwan (Brendon's "ex" mom) she asked about him and asked when she could see him, Brian told her it wasn't up to him to make that decision, it was up to Donny (your biological father) or me since we are his next of kin, so in other words, she will never hurt or torment him again as long as we live.
Joel I miss everything about you, I miss those silly little letters to Jackie with the cat mobiles, the long letters to me expressing how you felt about things, I can no longer read em anymore as most of them burned up in the house, another loss. I miss your presence, your silly little grin, our talks and vacations, I miss your voice, your smell, just everything about you. Sometimes my heart just aches, still sometimes I don't get out of the bed all day because I am too depressed. But sometimes I can smile when I think about you and funny little things you used to do.
I still can't understand the "WHYS?" why god took you in the prime of your life, there where so many things left undone. But those questions will always remain unanswered. But why did he have to take you 8 day before my birthday and 9 days before Christmas, why did we have to lay you to rest on Aunt Lisa's birthday? Christmas will never be the same ever again, the day I loved most now has become another terrible day of mourning. Sometimes I just wonder how much more I can take, sometimes I think God is not listening or caring, so much has happened since your death, I still can't work, go through horrible anxiety and depression, my back needs surgery, yes perhaps it could be worse, but if it does I don't want to be here any longer to see or feel it.
My precious son, Joel I love you with all of my heart, your flame burns within my inner being what will I do without you? It has been almost 2 years since you left but the pain and the scars will never heal. One thing I can say is I am not afraid of dying anymore, sometimes I feel this world is like hell on earth.
I have a poem to read at Christmas in the Church for my friends of Compassionate Friends
who grieve as I. for the children they have lost. This poem is for you, entitled, "Today i light a candle for you." Joel this one is for you, my gift to you this Christmas I have to go my son, I am going to put your Christmas flowers on your resting spot, they are beautiful just as you are, perhaps I will sit and talk to you awhile............... Always Remembered...............
Love Always and Forever,
Moma
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Hugbook
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Lisa...thinking of you and sending a hug. Love, Kim
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Lisa, I feel proud to be called your friend. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Together we will get thru this. HUGS, Pat
Present
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOEL!!!!! Hugs, Ann
Hug
I am sorry for your loss. Sending you an extra hug on Joel's Birthday. Wishing you a peaceful day.
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Prayer
Sending you hearfelt prayers today as we remember your son's birthday....Pat
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Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a ChildOn a dark, cloudy, rainy day Friday, July 9, 1976 my beautiful baby son was born, (my first born), his name would be Joel Matthew Stafford, Named in re: "God's Greatest Gift", on a beautiful, bright, sunny day, Saturday, December 16, 2006, he died of an accidental drug overdose, my world has never been the same nor will it ever be again. His time in this world was cut short, and sometimes I still feel so cheated, no mother should have to live the nightmare of losing one's child. I miss Joel
Treatments
- Crying Too Soon to Tell
- I still cry almost every day of my life, sometimes I feel just tired and exhausted.
- Grief Counseling Somewhat Helpful
- Seeing a social worker once a week, grief support every Monday night, and another group every 2nd Sunday of each month.
- Prayer Somewhat Helpful
- Sometimes this is helpful, but just like everything else, sometimes I feel lost.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Seeing a Social Worker at the grief center once a week, sometimes I do feel better when I leave.
- Keeping Busy Working / Worked
- I have tried to keep busy I was working 2 jobs, and overtime on the primary job, but found, I was too tired to do anything, so I left the 2nd job and kept the first.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Sometimes talking to my closest friends helps at the time, so I do rely on them quite a bit, here I find comfort.
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionHi my name is Lisa. I also suffer with chronic depression and been on medication for 14 years. My son tragically died in December of 06, and my whole world has been turned upside down.
Treatments
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- I have been on SSRI's for over 14 years, do they work? I thought so until I lost my only son, Joel before Christmas...
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I have been in Psychotherapy since the death of my son, Joel, perhaps it helps.
Open Bipolar Disorder
Hi my name is Lisa, I lost my only son, Joel, to an accidental drug overdose in December of 06. Joel had been dignosed with chronic depression(just like me) and Bipolar Disorder(something I learned about while attending Nursing School), had him go to the Doctor several years ago, and yes, I was correct, in fact he did have Bipolar Disorder, so I am once again searching for answers...
Open Breakups & Divorce
Once again I find myself being a single parent. I am divorced with 1 living child Jackie age 8, that is my entire world. My son, Joel died in December of 06 and I have 1 living grandchild, Brendon 9years old. Is there life after death? YES, I have found the answer today as I look at that little angelic face of my baby girl.
Treatments
- Love Working / Worked
- We are getting there slowly but surely, a little behind schedule due to the tragic accident involving my son, but my daughter and I are truly living and loving it.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Excellent support system for me. I have learned to just be me nothing more, and to express my feelings differently.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Today, My daughter and my relationship has grown so much stronger we have become so much closer.
Open Chronic Pain
I have had chronic back pain for many years, at times it has affected the quality of my life in general. I have a herniated disc at L4 and L5 that has now involved nerves as it continues to press on the nerve roots of the location. The pain has become more severe since Jan. of 07.
Treatments
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- Taking Hydrocodone does help relieve most of the pain but not all, but some relief is good.
- Mobic Somewhat Helpful
- I have tried but was advised by my GI specialist I could no longer take due to intestinal problems.
- Physical Therapy Working / Worked
- painful in the beginning, but seems to give me some needed relief.
- Neurontin Not Working
- Seemed to work at first, but now I notice no diffference, so it has been D/C ed
Open Asthma
Type: Adult AsthmaPlagued with Asthma for as long as I can remember, but I do have it under excellent control
Treatments
- Advair Working / Worked
- Works great!!!
- Inhaler Working / Worked
- Used as a rescue inhaler, Albuterol, and daily Spiriva works great.
- Prednisone Working / Worked
- I usually have to take Prednisone during changes of the seasons, mostly during winter months, or if I get an upper respiratory illness, works great!!
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
In December of 2006 I viewed my son's lifeless body in the local morgue, he died from an accidental drug overdose. 10 years prior to that I lost my first grandchild to stillbirth. I have been physically, emotionally and verbally abused for over 24 years in domestic relationships, which has caused many anxiety disorders.
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- Battered Woman's Shelter, Counseling, Seeing a social worker once weekly since Dec. of 06 due to my son's tragic death.
- Effexor Not Working
- Seemed to work for a few weeks, then I had no relief.
- Paxil Not Working
- Had a reaction to med, could not take this SSRI
- Supportive Care Working / Worked
- Relief in talking to physicians and friends seems to work well for me, as well as group support meetings.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- I have been tried on almost all of the SSRIs with Prozac giving me the most relief of my symptoms.
- Valium Somewhat Helpful
- Helps with panic attacks and insomnia, I have started taking less and less now, coping better
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- This helps me deal with life in general and prayer calms my elevated emotions most of the time.
- Forgiveness Working / Worked
- in order for me to heal, I had to learn to forgive both of my domestic abusers.
Open Diabetes Type 1
My 10 year old niece was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes this week, we are just looking for some support from this community.
Treatments
