Journal

It has been a while since I have written wor even logged into DS. I have been deeling with a lot lately. I have finally started to admit things to myself and others about my past. I am struggling to be okay in my relationship with my boyfriend a lot but only because for the first time I feel actually loved and I am scared. I am so used to being told i am loved and then being manipulated and abused. I have been flashing-back a lot recently though and I completely disassociated thismorning and ripped my stomach to shreds.

I have neither mono nor strep. I still feel pretty gros but I don't have a fever anymore.

I am sick. My glands might as well be golf balls.