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  spaco555 (08/13/08)

  Have been stoned for 30 years, diagnosed bi-polar, with extreme anxiety. Even my shrink felt that pot was a good mood stabilizer for me. Also have very high IQ, and am a highly functional stoner. Or maybe that is because I've been stoned for so long. It has stopped being fun anymore, because of all the problems it has caused in my life. I go to a therapist, and it's hard, because she actually approves of moderate smoking, and has told me that she has no problem with my using. But my MD is about to test soon, so if I don't stay clean for at least 30 days, I stand to lose a lot. The last time I quit (20 days), I got so manic that I couldn't stand anything. Talk about a bitch on wheels. But I'm a bitch stoned also, so what's the difference. No support groups here, so this website is my only hope to stay clean. People with high IQ's are usually so screwed up anyway. I think I started smoking to fit in, as I did well in school, and was considered quite the nerd. Who knows. It really helps to read your story, and I hope we can be friends in bitchiness! I take Xanax for anxiety, but without pot, no amount of Xanax calms me down. Again, this is only the second time I've tried to quit in 30 years, so reality is quite a shock to me. I am very ashamed of my past lifestyle, and being straight makes me remember just what an asshole I have been for most of my life.