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  Kiss

  From Tamara999 July 31

  Thanks for your concern. What happened is I talk to my ex-boyfriend pretty much on a monthly basis. Today he tells me that they bought a house but he hadn't told me when they did; Holly is pregnant and going to deliver in October when he could have told me sooner. The biggie was they got married -- FOUR YEARS AGO.
  
  I immediately started comparing myself with how far he is in his life. He has become a very wealthy man and, as I struggle to put $5 together to put gas in my car, he doesn't have to worry about those things.
  
  I fell into "Compare and Dispair."
  
  I did a lot of writing on it tonight and I feel much better and stronger. Ken lied to me by omission and therefore is a liar. I do not have liars as my friends. I am going to release his energy from my life. I will be better. Thanks. : )

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  Present

  From Tamara999 July 31

  JUNE 4TH??!! I missed your birthday!! Happy belated birthday. I hope it was wonderful, truly wonderful.
  
  xxoo

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  Flower

  From Tamara999 May 29

  Thank you for saying I will not wear you out. It is an honor to help you better understand your son. That is what we are on this planet for -- to help each other. Thanks for your hug. You give me a lot of strength. And I so appreciate it! xxoo

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  Hug

  From Tamara999 May 21

  Thanks for the journal comment. I am so sorry to hear your son also suffers from depression. And you are right -- it is an illness is which we let ourselves down. I just keep getting frustrated with myself and, at times, feel so hopeless. And there ARE good times ... I just want to be doing more. OMG! As I was writing you I figured one thing out. I would always tell my old therapist how it freaks me out to "get out" in life as I want to crawl back into the safety of my bed; that I am always afraid "I am going to collapse." That is depression. The fear of doing things and talking yourself into the fear that you will collapse somewhere, without loved ones, without help. And the collapse IS depression. The fear IS depression. it is a tangled web and it hit me just as I was writing you. Your thought and comments are always appreciated. I hope I don't wear you out!! xxoo

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  Flower

  From Tamara999 April 27

  Oh my gosh ...thank you so much for the journal entry and for letting me know that you see a lot of improvement in my journals. A lot of healing and being healed. You are the sweetest friend. I really appreciate you!

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