juceey's Journal

I just don't get it.............

Am I supposed to??

No,

Maybe not.

I just don't get it............

Why can't I see?

Me,

You.

I just don't get it............

He says I am supposed to,

See,

I don't.

I just don't get it............

Can't see through,

Tears,

Sting.

I just don't get it.............

Just don't want to,

Pain,

Heart.

Uuuurrrggghhhhhhhh I will NEVER understand what makes them tick,a species apart for sure!!

Why am I expected to be the all seeing,all knowing,all giving,But never taking,never asking,never failing,never,never,never................

I grit my teeth and get on with things every single bloody day,it all gets done because life has to go on,JUST BECAUSE IT HAS TO,I appreciate that he goes to work,and he's tired and has to cope with alot BUT JINKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Does he think he is the only one who goes through this?????I am having a very hard time coping with day to day life at the moment let alone all the other stuff that miraculuosly gets done,

Good greif I am sorry moan,moan,moan all the time and it really isn't me but I have got alot of mushed up stuff in my head and this is the only place that I can put it without backlash,then I can carry on painting on the smile and just getting through each day.

Now don't get me wrong I really love him,and I really do mean it he is the other half of me.BUT by GREIF he is soooooooooooooooooooo frustrating with it and just at the moment he is SERIOUSLY doing my head in.

Why is it that all things get done and he has his meals put on the table and his lunch ready for work and his washing,OH greif you all know the way it goes so ANYHOW!!!............

It was a lovely weekend and I really thought that he was truly begining to understand on some basic level that this time it isn't about him,I know that me having this sodding stupid,malicious,life stealing,devastating crapFM is not his fault BUT it is sure not my fault either huh!!!

If we all got so wound up and angry over the stupid little things that we have to do every single day then we would all be bloody miserable people and nobody would want to know anybody else AAAAARRRGHHHHHHH.

See now he has me waffling on and I can feel myself getting more upset and jinkies it is all because he didn't like that the blanket was on the floor again and how everyday he picks it up and everyday it is back on the floor again!!!!!!!

I am very emotional at the moment due to one thing and another and I burst into tears at the stupidity of it all and all I could think of to say was along the lines of....If it upsets you so much to pick it up then don't, just leave it there,I would rather it went undone than caused this much s**t just because you did it................

Now he is sulking sat here next to me on the bed and there is an atmosphere that I could so do without but why should I be the one to make it better??It is always me who makes it better well he can take this one on himself as I am not going to this time it is his issue so he can fix it........