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strongbow 
12:37pm, February 17, 2009
thought that i was coping well until last nite...........
had no intentions of drinkin much ??
but ended up goin over board and as usual all the bad feeling came floodin in.......
was up til early this morning to the point where both my kids woke up n came down......
i cut worse last nite than i have ever done and now wearin plasters on both arms......
still in pj,s as cant be bothered to get dressed and the blood on my top.......
really should get changed but the kids think it red sauce.......
i feel so low and like a worthless mother now. dont feel that i deserve them as they deserve much better than this.......
i know i will get there one day but that one day is takin way to long for me......
i have help with my support worker but it never seems to be enough......
am hoping that 2moro will be so much better.......
i just want to sleep but cant as my kids r ere n they need me right now.........
the rest of the day is goin to be a blur........
Comments
hey you are not a worthless mother hun. dont ever think you are.you will get there i know sometimes it feels like forever . take baby steps one step back then to forward i say. talk to me any time. try not to be to hard on your self. xxxx
Gothicfairy2008
Hang in there girl it will get better. Your kids do need you and no one could ever replace you to them...so they would never be any better with anyone else.... Get dressed and go outside and get some sun.....they say that the sun is good for ya....not sure I believe that though...here in Fl. it is just a blowtorch....Hope the day gets better....I will be here on and off if you need to talk.....
Your friend...
Brent
brent72
Awe sweetie, don't beat yourself up. Today is a new day; just rest; do the minumum for your angels & take care of YOU. Love you, Jazzie xx
jazzergirl
please don't feel that you are a worthless mom. You are there w/ your children now, when you are feeling so bad, and that alone tells me how much you love and care for them. I do think that the worst thing for kids is if they are really worried about their parents, cuz their little imaginations can go way over the edge quickly. I am not sure of how old they are, but if you can, sit them down, tell them that mommy is ok, just feeling sad, but that you will all stay together and mommy will feel better soon. You may even find they give you more time for yourself because they are not so worried about you and feel they need to spend every second with you, just cuz they are scared. Please don't cut anymore, if you can help it. I hope things turn the corner for you very soon. Thinking of you, and sending warm hugs your way! xxx
sadsheri
than u guys means so much to me.xx
strongbow
You are not a worthless mother and you take this one day at a time we all make mistakes. You just start afresh today.
NANCPATT
YOU ARE NOT A WORTHLESS MOM!If yu were then yu wouldn't be there w/ur kids. you just need to work on yourself. One day you'll be where you want to be.
brandyg
you are not a worthless mom at all. yeah you messed up last night but now its time to pick yourself up and start again.you have my support and love anytime
carolina320
youre DEFINITELY not worthless....Just need to re-arrange things a little....I know, I've been there...and sorta am there myself right now....not cutting or anything, but feeling the worthlessness and all. You just gotta reassure yourself that you CAN and DO whatever you can for your kids. Just make a strong effort to put them first no matter what and do whatever you can for them....and as for helping YOU, put your trust in your true friends and family that you can trust. I am one of those people you can count on to listen to ya!
RS269U
ur really a nice person..... i'm so glad that ur on here... i'm so glad we talk... thank u for helping me... And u are not worthless... u really arn't if u need to talk than type ur doing good... yes u cut but it's just a bumb in ur road... not a pot hole
hellsbaby
Sorry you are so troubled.
HUGS!
Linda
Testycatlady
You are not worthless, but it sounds like you may need some outside help honey. Love you Mishka.
mwolf